Eternal Sunshine in the Spotless Mind

I am in a relationship...

2012-01-29T19:35:00.003+05:30

...with my laptop.

In other news..I will turn 2* in less than two months...kidding..I have no shame in admitting it..23.

Hmm. So here's what I am going to do. An experiment, which worked wonders the first time I tried it. I will write 23 posts before I turn 23. Timelines and me are good!

Here's the first.

Every time we played house-house when we were adorable little girls, there were two things I was always consistent about:

-My name was never Veda. I did not like my name.
-I was always 23. I believed that at at this particular age something great would happen..I would have achieved greatness or figured out the purpose of my existence or something along those lines..

What Changed?

-I was wrong about my name. Its actually very very cool. I love it now. Veda. Veda. Veda! :P
-So close to 23 and nowhere near achieving anything substantial. (discounting the 50-60 thousand words I've managed to- academically- write up in the past 2 years - which not only killed my creative writing, but also almost killed this blog.)

If I could be wrong about my name, chances are I'm wrong about the 'magic age' as well.

22 is a funny age, it really is..Your not a kid (fact that was drilled into my brain when a few kids threw a few of us out of a kids park for trying out their 'slides and swings'! hmph!) AND your not an adult either..Your parents still pay for everything and hence have a huge say in the decisions you make (well, almost all..)

SO maybe 2* wont be too bad, it gives me a masters degree and an adult tag. And that's not too bad for a start, is it?

Living it up in 807-A!

2011-09-30T20:49:00.004+05:30

'A bright candle in the dark room' was my first 'poem'. I was very young and I wrote it in a card for my parents on their anniversary. 'A wrap up of my autobiography' was ambitious little me writing my first blog post on this page. Today, four years later I read that post again. For starters- I am not where I thought I'd be..I want different things and I sound like a different person. Although i am tempted to erase the embarrassing ramblings of my 18 year old self, I wont. It will remind me of how much I've changed. Of who I used to be, and how many different dreams I've dreamt.

Which brings me to the point of this blog...The posts on this space can be divided into phases and they have stories of their own...This phase of mine..needs to be remembered. And hence, I've decided to write.

"I moved out out hostel and into an apartment with two awesome women"...I wrote Stella.."I figured you'd have to live someplace without curfews before you turned 23!"..She replied..

The first night out after I moved in, my mom (who came over to help me unpack) took me and my flatmates out to dinner..When the clock hit ten thirty, I panicked and asked everyone to hurry up or we'd get into trouble. There was a moments silence around the table before everyone, including me, started to laugh.

first-ish thoughts..more later..

-I like the space. Soo much space. Especially the beautiful view of the valley from our balcony.
-I learnt to make tea. and very interesting things with eggs.
-All the jokes about I made about my mothers OCD. Well, they're not funny anymore.
-Use a dash of shampoo instead of detergent to wash soft clothes.
-Don't try cleaning the bathroom floor with a toothbrush. Get out and buy a real one.
-Nutella..Nutella..Nutella..On bread. bananas. or just..Nutella.
-When your brother and guy friends come to visit, don't bother cleaning up after them. Men = Pigs.
-Flatmates, keep them in the loop. Always.
-Saturday evenings when you have friends over for the 'ritual' (good conversation and beer), out on the balcony, drown yourself in Odomos beforehand.
-Climbing up 8 flights of stairs is a joy. (Pshya!)
-Never. Never. Go to one party and bring it home with you. (okay this story is too good not to be told). But the less I talk about it, the better.
-Paying the bills/ running errands - is NOT fun.
-Know where the closest key makers/locksmiths are.

Dilli-Dally-ing...Part 2

2011-07-09T19:19:00.004+05:30

Its been a long time since I watched the dusk fade, and give way to the night..I'm put up at a paying guest facility in the quieter part of an otherwise bustling market..I've switched off the A/C, opened up the windows and I've been staring out of it sipping my tea and pecking on home made jelabis..

Its funny how fast one gets accustomed to things..My last post about wavering lost me sounds like me, light years ago..I still have 'quick me' convo's in my head from time to time and I make some embarrassing mistakes due to geographical ignorance, but I don't feel 'I'm tiny in a large city, please help me' (*baby Garfield eyes*) anymore..I actually hustled someone while getting into the metro the other day, I boxed my way out today..I'm pretty good with crossing crazy roads and bargaining with rickshaw wallah's..Actually the bargaining tactic is pretty simple..I walk towards a horde of them, all of them shouting and waiting to pounce on you,almost..I raise my fingers to make a two or three and keep repeating the name of the place I want to go to. No room for bargaining. Bees Kamala Market or Tees Rajpur Road. Once the greedy ones pshya me off, the nicer ones always come around.

I've been less successful with the road side cloth sellers however. Them and their fixed price boards. I once managed to get a guy to reduce 30 bucks and as soon as I paid him I began jumping up and down signalling to my friend about my success. She looked like an embarrassed adolescent who just got hugged and kissed in front of her macho friends and led me away quickly!

I've also got myself a camera...I cant wait to hang out with my new toy and preserve memories in frames..:)

The sky has gone dark..The streetlights are on and I cant hear the kids playing cricket in the park anymore.

The evening gives you hope..the night, however, threatens to run past and lets morning come by quickly..

Lots to be done, before the stars come out I should begin.

Delly Belly - Volume 1 Part 1

2011-06-07T12:38:00.003+05:30

The whole of last year, one blog worthy event followed another..I was so caught up in 'living' them that blogging about them wasn’t even in the planner!

But now, I am living perhaps the most bloggable phase of my life. Most of the posts in these pages, especially the older ones, saw a much younger me craving to break free, break away, be independent- and now that the doll drums and awe of it all has died down and since I am where I always wanted to be- I can write.

Decisions need to be made quick. "Don’t Think. Act". That has to become a mantra. In order to come to a conclusion after analysing all possible alternatives, one has to be quiet in the head. And if you’ve read any of my older posts, you will know that my head/mind-is one huge party. It's all over the place and its capable of feeling multiple emotions at once.

Let me explain this rather interesting phenomenon. I need to go from point A to B to C. I have it all charted out in my head. Sequentially organized, important points to remember flagged. I reach point A, successfully carry out my-for the lack of a better word- 'mission' there. As i am about to head towards point B, I am made aware of change in plans and in comes X Y and Z! There, the party kicks off! All the if's, but then's, how far's, metro or auto's, ITS SO HOT I CANT THINK's, maybe's, maybe not's, today, tomorrow's, ITS STILL SO HOT's later, I may or may not have decided.

Have you tried talking to yourself, stopping yourself-physically from walking any further, asked your mind to shut up, taken a few deep breaths-all in a busy pavement in the middle of a bustling city? - I have. I don’t recommend it, really. But it works. Almost ;)

This is the point where I hit speed dial, think out loud, tell my oblivious- to- all- this- confusion friend or family about my plans-and the finally decide.

Born and brought up in a lil' hill station town, where there is just ONE major road that takes you EVERYHWHERE, I knew I would not be big city-smart. And I was right. Oh I was!

But I also know that amongst all this madness, and making and breaking plans, I’ll finally get to point C. The process is sure to wisen and roughen me up a little but I guess I’ll just have to rely on all my foresty animal instincts and hurry along!

For old times sake, random thoughts!

2011-04-05T21:28:00.003+05:30

One of the best feelings in the world: when you find an old playlist, put on some head phones and you realise you had KICKASS taste in music!
Not-such-a-great-feeling: Looking at all the current playlist-sober and serious and you cant help but think, what is wrong with me!That just happened.

You know that odd person in the movie, who walks into the frame, looks into the camera for a quick second and even before the corner of your eye can catch him he's out, just to return again of course..And at the end of the movie, the person has a pretty huge part to play in gluing all the bits together..That's been happening to me..This blog is THAT person! I'd been thinking about this forgotten ignored lil baby of mine for a while..just thinking..not doing anything, when it started. The blog kept coming up in random conversations! SO much so that it has pushed me into more than just thinking..

Lot has been happening of late..I made a few good friends, who i think I'll keep...I made a lot of acquaintance-friends, who will all soon drift-and i wont stop them...I learnt about homesickness..about growing up..about how there are disproportionate numbers of wonderful and conniving people ...about how i should listen to music more often...How how cool my family is...about how much i value conversations..about how i can be very unhappy and yet find my own happiness...about how i control my life...about how everything is a choice..and this is a choice too..being aware of the power of making a choice...about putting up with very boring people...about being awed by some others...about being nice to someone..about how things change, whilst some just don't...Like John Butlers brilliance..(his song ocean still makes my heart quicken..)about how black and white movies remind me of home and mom...and how Pavarotti reminds me of dad and his books..how i consciously decided to complain less and compliment one stranger a day..about how i need tobe creative..how i miss that..

And you thought i couldn't rant anymore?

Edward Collin makes my mother blush

2010-07-29T11:16:00.012+05:30

I have been waiting for a while now-for my life to take off..This is partially the result of having been surrounded by older friends all my life..The only down side to the otherwise great times I shared with these buddies was this feeling..I remember telling one of them when he got a job abroad.."When you left school, I was still in school. When you got into college, I was still in school. When you are finally working and making your life, I am..wait for it..still in school!"

Migrating to college later on and except for a few fresh faces, staying within pretty much the same social circle, the feeling of being in a slow motion sequence in this drama called life began to seep in..

A friend I made recently told me how she used to throw wild tantrums as a kid, and in order to shut her up her folks used to dip her in cold water. So they basically, shocked her out of her state of mind. That's what I needed, a shock.

When you move from one phase to another, there's nothing like a shock to mark the event..So once I was finally done with college and admission to a much-desired stream of study for a post graduation was secured, I realised I had one month and I hit fast forward.

The month long self charted out holiday was like living in a book where the protagonist goes on a trip of self discovery. Learning about my ancestors and family with whom I share my name and identity with and nothing more. Getting to know some friends all over again. The days filled with long conversations, awkward silences, shocked discoveries, apprehensions, fresh judgements, panic attacks, relief of being rescued, enjoying the attention, missing the attention, baby sitting very cranky restless kids, realizing shopping can be fun, realizing shopping can be a nightmare, helping create while-I-was-intoxicated tales that will be told to generations to come, laughing till tears rolled down, crying and letting the tears be wiped away, feeling euphoric and miserable over the same person in the same week..

Did I gain anything from the trip, where I stayed with people I almost did not know and got to know them in their own houses? - Hell yeah!
All I going to blog about them? -Indolent no
Does this post have a point? - I'm not certain

But all I know is this..The shock, I have received. And my new found state of mind assures me that I was never stuck in slow motion after all. I was just a kid waiting to grow up..

..When Edward Collin graced the computer screen and his constantly-in-pain face made my mother blush and giggle, I realized the need to grow up never really ends after all..

The blog awakes from a slumber..

2010-04-26T18:35:00.007+05:30

I remember the first day of kindergarten. I remember the fear. The knot at the pit of my stomach, reminding me that I was to be abandoned there. My lower lip quivered, I tried to be brave. But the sight of a fellow miniature human being bawling away to glory set me off. I cried like there was no tomorrow. I hung on to my moms saree for dear life. I remember the panic when they dragged me away. I also remember the relief, when she finally came around, and picked me up. I felt absolutely no remorse and was not even faintly embarrassed for being the only one outside the assembly line. I watched my classmates stand in almost-attention listening to the national anthem and I dug my face into my mothers neck, relieved.

The days that followed the traumatic first day were much better. Every time I threw a tantrum the teacher in charge would escort me two class rooms away to my brothers class. I was perched up on the bench, in between my brother and his chubby other friend and I would smile through my tears and refuse to go back.

College is finally over & its time I left my nest. Face new fears battle newer demons, as the poets put it. There is no saree to hide behind or a brother across the hall. Its just me. This is what I’ve been looking forward to all my life- Independence. And yet, when it’s a step away , I find myself feeling apprehensive..(Maybe I should pick up a microphone and sing Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway and get into the Freedom-here-I-come-mood...Maybe not. Too much effort.)

Last day in college, except for a few nostalgic moments was pretty normal. I wanted to skip the dramatics and remember everybody as they were. I looked closely at some people, trying to memorize their features aware that I might never see them again. Some others I hugged, for the same reason. I pictured our batch at a 15-yrs-from-now reunion. Fat aunties with babies in tow. Scary thought! Skipped the idea.

Dad says he doesn’t feel a day older than 18. That his conscience hasn’t aged. I shared the feeling but don’t anymore. I am not the same person I was when I walked into campus the first day. That Im sure. My conscience has matured. My priorities clearer. And finally, finally, a distant vision for the future.

Notes from the trip

2009-12-27T10:43:00.022+05:30

A family holiday happened. My not-so-social family and two of our not-so-social friends decided to get ourselves into a special tourist train full of very social people with whom we had nothing much in common except that we were all there to Discover India. The fifteen day journey, covering seven thousand and odd kilometers, eleven states, brought some things into perspective..

•My dad who heads the not so social clan, is social. The second day into the train journey, daddy dearest who usually spends most of his time alone and who acts as if socialising causes him physical pain, knew a horde of people from almost every coach and was on the first name basis with the pantry dudes, security uncles and even the cleaning boys! People would drop off at our compartment several times of the day and talk to him, and dad would introduce each one of us to his newly made friends and tell us in return, his life story. Every time this happened, mom and me would look up from our books and exchange looks that varied from "What happened to him!" to "Do we even know this guy?!"..Although all of us did make friends with a whole bunch of people by the end of the journey, it was dad who stole the show!

•I am a major street food junkie! I wanted to have e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g the street vendors were making and would gravitate toward them, but my paranoid medico brother would scare me with gruesome details of the after effects of eating unhealthy food and lead me away, quite forcefully.

•The train which was in all senses, a malayalee society on wheels, had corners where the ungils in lungis would huddle together, gulping down chai, talking politics & coming up with solutions to social issues and they would laugh so loud that even the others would invariably smile. The auntie's from different parts of Kerala, joined together by the same faith, would meet up in the compartment next to ours in the evenings and sing hymns and mantras, which would even shut the ungils up and everyone would be eerily quiet till they finished..

•I've said this before and I'll say it again- I am a woman of contradictions. I get scared out my wits when I look down from four storeys up. My knees buckle and I cling onto the railing for dear life. But there I was, parasailing over the ocean, feet dangling in the air, arms outstretched shouting, 'weee im a birdddd', without even a flutter of a butterfly in my tummy..

•Shopping with mom is a no-no! Okay so here's the deal, I've always had fun hanging out and shopping with my mother, who is oh so awesome at it, but off late, I'm starting to think there's a reason my friends aren't as excited about the prospect as I am..Here's an example:

Veda (drools at a junk jewellery selling shack and is being pulled towards it by its awesome powers): Mom, hang on..

Mom (looks at the shack, grunts): Look at that stuff Veda! Who'll buy all that?!

V (mouth wide open): Are you kidding me? They're beautiful.

M: They look like the stuff adivasis (tribals) in wayanad (our home place) wear.

V:No ma..(trying to knock sense into her)..They're actually pretty cool up close.

V manages to lure her into the shop, with her extraordinary persuasive skills.

M (looking around. not happy): I could make this stuff for you, if I wanted to.

V (snorts): Yeah right!

M (eyes pop put - Tom & Jerry style): 1500 bucks for THIS?!! (picks up an ornament that has big round colored ball like things hanging from a black thread) WHY!

V: Erm..yeah maybe its a lil overpriced, but it might look good on you.

M: From which angle does this look remotely good young lady?! This is such a waste of time.

V: But..

M: Veda, look at those shawls! (drool)

V: Sigh.

The journey home

2009-12-21T10:26:00.009+05:30

I walk into the Volvo, ticket in hand, looking for my seat,
I smile politely at some people,
place my backpack under the leg rest,
shove the ticket into my jean pocket,
plug in the mp3,
push the seat all the way back.

I’m all set for the long ride home…Interesting conversations on the phone keep me up for a while and then I drift off into disturbed sleep.

This time, my brother is with me but everything else goes wrong.
It started with my feet getting cold coz of the open toe flats I was wearing,
As I contemplated switching off the AC overhead, it stopped by itself.

In a bus where the big glass windows are sealed and the air duct overhead cant be opened, the death of the air cooling system calls for an uproar.
People wake up and kick up a ruckus.
The cosmic conversation is disrupted & eventually cut short.

Next thing I know I am sweating profusely, feeling claustrophobic so I join my brother and the rest of the pissed off passenger's on the street. The time is around One am.

I lean backward on a rusted flag post whose existence matters only on some important national holiday, and observe.

There's the responsible bunch trying to call up the owner/manager of the travel agency asking for alternate means, the same bunch that turns violent when the manager says its not his problem and wipes his hands clean. There's the funny guy who I think was born with a smile, who finds something funny to say every 5 minutes or so..He was funny when he was in reality, sulking.

There's always the kids. Happy to be back on land, not restricted to the confines of a bus, running around people, friends in 2 minutes, who find a mutual fun game to play in 3.

There's the lovey dovey couple, who cant keep their hands off each other. And as luck would have it, they camp up next to my flag post. The imaginary convo that was playing in my head came to an abrupt halt. Oh and then the cute guy. The kid rather, who is so unlike his folks. Traditional looking, prim and proper parents with a son who was trying to look wild but his innocent cute face wouldn't let him. He stayed a couple of feet away from them, as if he was embarrassed by their presence. I wondered what his story was and if he'd come to his senses and think differently a couple of years later.

There was the independent, strong, no nonsense working woman who was trying to catch some sleep resting on her bags. Someone played music on his phone and every body's quiet..The mushy couple begin to talk. Whispers. I cant take this, really. I walk away and sit on the foot path.

I look up once in a while at my brother who kept checking up on the mechanic working on the bus. He shakes his head for the umpteenth time. I slap my head. Got it! Mosquitoes had formed an aura and I just killed the first big one. One down a million to go, I think. Five hours later, nothing changes. Except for maybe the children, who are not so cute anymore. They're sleepy and hungry and very loud when they cry. The funny guy stops talking. His face is not smiling anymore.

The bus is dead. The taxi's here. I squish myself into the last seat. I'm the only girl in the jeep. I thank god I wasn't making this trip alone and pat my brother on his leg and smile. I rest the backpack near the window and think I'd close my eyes. I wake up when the jeep hits a speed breaker and my bag falls down. Was I sleeping with my mouth open? I think consciously.

'Get into the other bus'. Someone shouts. I remove my brothers head from my shoulders and wake him up. I tell my self I will not sulk. I don't. I find an empty seat on the other bus next to the no nonsense woman, a young movie maker. We have an interesting conversation but soon both of us drift off to sleep...

Back home and a day later, I try to fish out the nice moments from the otherwise dreadful journey..If nothing else, as I watched people from the sidewalk of a sleeping city, killing mosquitoes and figuring out their stories; with old Hindi songs playing in the background, I knew it was time I came out of the blog block.

The art of understanding your unimportance

2009-11-11T12:35:00.004+05:30

I like busses. Not the crowded ones where you have to be on high alert for straying hands and be victim to prying eyes. The not so crowded ones, with room for everybody. There’s something very fascinating about a tall metal box on wheels, filled with people lost in their own thoughts. The dreamy fish in me feels at home. I also like a low-flying-birds eye view of things.

Has it ever occurred to you that the people that you pass by, every one of them, has a story? I was on my way home a few days back. Mp3 plugged in I was staring out the bus window when it came to a loud halt at this junction. I saw a slightly older woman, who was trying to cross the road. She took a step, decided otherwise, retracted her feet, shook her head, took another step and recoiled again. I smiled at her confusion. I thought she needed to take a breath and unwind a little. As she waited, and my bus passed her by, she saw me smile. She looked at me brows curled up in worry and then just like that, as if she understood what I was thinking, she smiled back. We beamed at each other and then she was out of view. I am not likely to see that woman again. Our lives intersected only for that one moment, and we shared a story. A very vague one, but a story nonetheless.

Some folks I know, get so involved in their own stories, not only do they not recognize the existence of others, but they fail to understand that theirs is just a speck in the spectrum. They are just a piece in the gigantic puzzle, but not the puzzle itself. Why is it that we get so wound up in our lives, fill our heads with the what-I-am’s and the I-have’s and the have not's? Why is it that we think we are so important, and the things we do so remarkable, when in reality, it has all been done before? Why is there a compulsive need to impress? Why do you have to pretend to be someone your not but someone you wish you were? Why does it bother us so much, that even if our story came to an end or was lost, it would not affect the magnificence of the big picture?

The need to feel wanted. The need to feel important. The need to be needed. This need is so huge that our imagination works overtime to try and grab that ray of sunshine. I could only imagine how tiresome that could be. Instead, if we could understand that the need, the beast, could be satisfied simply, if our story met another. An insignificant story meets another insignificant story to create something of significance. The wild need is tamed and all is well, for now.

Run Forrestine Run!

2009-11-02T19:14:00.007+05:30

I ran today. I’d not realized how long it had been since the last time I ran, until I was running. Flip flops in hand, a bunch of papers in the other I had to make a dash from one block to another to stop someone from making an utter fool of herself (long story!). There was this one minute when I contemplated the consequences. If I let it be, she could go through the experience, I could get her coffee and tell her its no big deal. However, If I ran for it I might just be able to stop her. The lazy person that I am, I would’ve preferred the former, but then niceness took over and I grabbed all the lists and papers around me and started to run. My feet kept slipping off my oh so comfy slip-ons that I removed them and picked them up in one swift move and resumed running.

As my feet was carrying me forward in speeds it had not seen in ages, it was amusing to notice that the thoughts in my head were still organized and very peaceful. I was talking to myself about how good it felt, I tried remembering the last time I ran, I noticed a 'fashion & Interiors' block in my college…for the first time in three years, made a mental note to go back and see what they taught there, realized why I used to enjoy relay's back in school, imagined a big wall appearing out of nowhere right in front of me and how I'd not be able to pull my brakes, I imagined the tattoo I'd make on the wall, giggled inside my head, promised my pounding heart I'd start exercising again and revive the pathetic stamina.

Finally noticing how the terracotta tiled pathway was giving way to a tarred road, I contemplated putting the slippers back on, but decided it would kill the speed. When I got there, I dodged the tar road, jumped onto the prohibited lawn and stopped when I saw the person I was looking for. She was on her way back. She did not look happy. That meant the run was pointless. I met her at the auditorium steps and sat down panting listening to what she had to say. After I'd caught my breath, I put an arm around her, told her I'd get her coffee & assured her that it was no big deal.

Rad & Vint-age

2009-10-13T17:56:00.000+05:30

Haha. So! My computer pretended to die on me for a couple of days, which left me with too much time and too little distractions. Not being much of a TV buff, mostly coz there’s always someone hooked onto it watching something I dont want to watch, and a lil coz I preferred this box to that, I had no choice but get reacquainted with it. So I grab a couple of pillows, make myself comfy on the couch and flip channels. My g’mom, although dismayed that I stole the remote, was relieved to see me out of my room and out of the electric red swanky computer chair- which she was beginning to think was stuck to my bottom.

A music channel that has more soaps and ads than music began playing 'Rehab' (a Rihanna song). I increase the volume, let the remote rest. G’mom who was sitting in the same room as me, who happened to be reading the Gita, looked up, rested the book on her lap & sat transfixed at the tv. She was soon tapping her feet, her hands and finally she was head banging… to RIHANNA! Needless to say I was grinning broadly. So there I was looking at a lady who had studied Carnatic music for years and taught it for many more, enjoying something that sounded nothing like what was known to her.

That put me into introspection mode (yes, again!) …If I had mastered something and a lot of my life revolved around it, would I be accepting of something completely contradictory? Even if I did, would I put in the effort to enjoy it?

Its amusing how once we settle into our comfort zones, very few of us have the courage to try out new stuff. Similar to the frog-in-the-well syndrome. Very few frog kings would have the nerve to go to a new well as a nobody. The prospect of being a nonentity and having to start from scratch would scare them so much that would rather stay on in the same well.

Anyway after a sleepless night churning out similar thought-threads, I get up, sleep deprived and cranky when I hear a classical version of

“It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease”

Hiding behind the door, I listened to her mixing up words, brutally murdering the song. And then smiling broadly I walked into the kitchen to claim my morning hug.

With lots & lots of crazy like

2009-10-04T20:18:00.018+05:30

For someone who asked me questions
That left me asking myself more,
For the being who listened to my confused answers,
And smiled at the puzzled look I wore..

For someone who took the effort to discover
The crazy mortal that is me,
For the person who wrote me verses and
Shared thoughts that let my mind go free..

For that same person who made me smile oh so many times,
And made me mad, once or twice,
For the only person who quoted lines from this blog,
Who didn’t have to fly a MIG to impress, or call himself ice!

Lets hope for shorter distances and better birthday presents,
A football, a pocket watch, a hired stripper or a fun holiday to Mozambique,

Know that you've made me happy with our covert operation,
This 100th post in my drafts is for you and to what we’ve built over wonder week.

Happy Birthday Darling Porcupine :)

Questions that haunt my lucid dreams

2009-09-22T20:00:00.012+05:30

The mind is a funny thing. It is quiet when you want it to get original and it rattles when you want some quiet. My conscience and me aren’t the best of friends, my heart and mind can’t really look eye to eye. One wants what the other does not. And this, naturally, has resulted in utter chaos and confusion in my brain, the splendid piece that holds together, in almost-sanity, my 5 foot 3 and a half inch 48-kiloed body.

Being the fish, astrologically speaking, confusion knows me by name. I mean, think about it- the creature does not even know which way to swim! It does not get worse than that, does it? All my life I’ve had trouble choosing. Who did I like better, Barbie or Cindy? Chocolate or strawberry? Sunny side up or Scrambled ? Friend or foe? Study further or work first? Get hurt or Let go?

The only saving grace has been that I always, (to signify importance the word has to be repeated) always knew what I did *not* want. Coffee left a peculiar taste in my mouth, so I preferred tea. Science meant engineering, which I did not want, so it was Commerce. Too much of sweets made me tingly, in an uncomfortable way, so I favored spices. Commitment meant being tied down, so I stayed single.

But what would happen when the choices weren’t so clearly chalked out? What happens when the line between what I wanted and did not want was so fine, that it was almost like it did not exist? I step into unknown territory. Its not black or white any longer- its all grey. The fish in me trembles and sports the expression darling little Nemo had when he was taken away, scared finless!

Not that I am comparing feelings, But I’m sure Erno Rubik felt this way right before he solved the best selling toy puzzle in the history of the world. I mean, as brilliant as he is, I’m sure for a moment he would’ve said something along the lines of “Holy crap. Now what?!” and felt just as I do now - lost.

Random topic hopping on Wiki landed me on the Existentialism page and although I almost skipped the topic entirely, while skimming through the page certain lines from a letter a Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, wrote his friend Peter Wilhelm on August 31, 1835 hit me. And hit hard, they did. It goes:

What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know, except in so far as a certain knowledge must precede every action. The thing is to understand myself...the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die....

These lines escorted by the memory of being asked “What my purpose in life was” by someone while playing a game of Q & A, left me numb. When would I lay all the confusion to rest? Will my rattling, unsure, wavering mind accompany me forever, never maturing into something less wishy-washy? When will I be so sure of something that I would die for it?

I often wonder what I would’ve done if I was born in pre-independent India. Would I sacrifice every comfort I had for a cause I believed in with all my life, would I have joined the fight for freedom so that the future generations could live in a better land?

Is my heart that big? Will my mind let my heart be that big?

Unsolved questions leave my heart racing and the fish in me gasping. But I take comfort in the fact that Nemo, after living in the water tank did eventually return home, Erno Rubik after several cigarettes puffs did find God's algorithm, the solution to his toy and hence I shall, someday, certainly find my peace.

And Yes, I just based the conclusion of the sole question that's been haunting me - on a fish who was the fabric of someone’s imagination and a rich crazy Hungarian. ;)

The Inscrutable Miss Havisham

2009-09-12T08:29:00.009+05:30

I had no idea how cynical I’d become. Realization struck one evening. The day started (un)like any other. Dressed up for a flashy wedding in the morning, dressed down for a rally for Exnora in the afternoon. When it was time to get back, I was offered a ride home by the Miss Havisham of our locality. Not having spoken to her much, I was eager to get to know her better.

A short way into our ride, we reach this junction and she pulls over to the side of the road and says she has to meet someone. Amused, I get off her two wheeler and watch as she walks off looking about. And then to my utter disbelief, she gets down on all fours, looks under the sewage slabs and starts coochie coo-ing into the pit! So picture this, there I was, in a very busy street filled with vehicles waiting for the Go from the Traffic police, all of them packed with commuters who shared my puzzled expression, and there she was making funny noises and gestures- into a pit that carried all the dirt and grime and whatever not! They looked at her and then at me, making their judgments. I stood there fidgeting, mentally kicking myself for accepting the ride.

Finally deciding to help out, I walked upto her and asked who exactly she was looking for when she explained there was a stray dog she feeds and that it would come running each time it heard the noise of her 2 wheeler. So I looked with her. I ignored the people, the vehicles and the ungils who had started to collect around- for I figured she was more amusing than them. So we waited for a bit and when the dog didn't turn up, disappointment was evident. Trying to ease things for her I began making excuses for the dog I'd never met(!!)..Finding logic in my reasoning, she told me to get back on her bike.

You should know by now that I was skeptical about the existence of the dog, I couldn't possibly believe a dog could make out the sound of her bike in such heavy traffic & I was doubly sure this woman was loosing it, and more than anything else I really wanted to get home. But just as I climbed onto the bike, smirking mentally, a dog comes running, wagging its tail so wildly and looking at her the way my dog looks at me. All love. No questions. Just love. Cheerfully she picked up a packet of biscuits, crouched down and fed her baby. Shocked at first, the happy ending put sappy ol me in high spirits and I was beaming. I looked around at the ungils who had been watching this spectacle with me, but their grim faces refused to light up. Screw them, I thought and went back to the moment.

I met a few more of her fans along the way, each time the same affection in their eyes. I even fed some of them myself. And on our ride back although Miss Havisham told me things which would be considered nutty under normal circumstances, like how global warming was not caused because of the depletion of the Ozone layer, but because of the fury of God, I didn't really mind.

I realized something about myself, that perhaps I was already aware of, but didn't *know*. I pre judged her & I drew my smart ass conclusions. I'd forgotten that people actually had a life beyond themselves, and that they had the time to be kind to creatures who didn't matter to most.

Lesson learnt and a lovely way at that!

10 Things to Do Before I'm 30 [A tag]

2009-09-05T16:48:00.006+05:30

People can be categorized in several senseless ways, each of which speak multitudes about the person you are or the person you are trying to become. One such ridiculous division would be, those who make lists & those who don’t. Mom for example falls under the former category. She has all kinds of them; things to buy, things to do today, things I have to tell Veda…And then there’s my kind. We don’t make/use lists ..Its all in the head - a colossal organized mess!

A movie I saw recently was all about a woman trying to strike out a list she made as a kid before she turned 30. I hated the movie. I was bored crazy. But soon thereafter blog buddy Shravan tagged me asking me to do the same. List 10 things I wanted to do before I hit the you-are-formally-old-now age of thirty. Procrastination being another one of my virtues, I kept it for later. Today is later.

Feel honored people, for you are witnessing history in the making. I am collecting all my random scattered thoughts concerning the next 10 years of my life and emitting the scarce listiness I have genetically acquired into this post.

The List

1.Travel. For Instance V and I have this plan of going on this crazy ass brother-sister trip before either of us ‘settle down’. Although our destination keeps changing with priority, right now its Amsterdam. Nothing like a Waccy Baccy holiday! ;)

2.Master French/Master a musical instrument [If nothing else at least the Tambourine :P]

3.Be able to fend for myself, lavishly of course.

4.Swim in the ocean, preferably with dolphins.

5.Not loose my faith in humanity

6.Learn to cook. Live up to family standards, which is fortunately & unfortunately quite high.

7.Get a book published.

8.Sky dive/Bungee Jump/Scuba dive.

9.Learn a really cool magic trick that leaves everybody flabbergasted.

10.Find out why there is so much fuss about falling in love.

Oh and by the way, I tag you.

Her first time

2009-08-19T14:24:00.005+05:30

She wanted to do it. All her friends had. This was the right time. The right day. She just had to find someone to do it with. She looked around. He held her gaze. He had been watching her for a while. In the strangers eyes she saw understanding. Walking up to him, she asked if he would. Without missing a beat he answered in the affirmative. He took her hand and led the way. A cold chill running down her spine, her heart dancing to a different beat, she wondered if she was making a big mistake. A part of her told her not to go ahead with it. The stronger one told her that she had to, someday. Might as well be now.

They were finally there. He looked at her, he read her thoughts. The stranger did. ‘Scared?’ he asked almost smiling. She nodded. ‘Terrified’. They did not speak for a while, and then he placed his hand on her cold one. She looked up at him and murmured, ‘I’ve never done this before. Have you?’ He laughed a full laugh and said ‘yes’. ‘Don’t worry’ he said. ‘Close your eyes, it helps. Just loosen up. Relax. It'll be over before you know it.’ She said nothing.

And when they embarked on the journey, together, a million emotions burst within her, screaming, wailing, eyes moistened, feeling sensations she had never felt before and finally she threw her head back and looked at the stranger. It was nothing like she imagined it to be. It was only better! He took her hand in his once again and smiling he asked, ‘Did you enjoy it?’ She shook her head tiredly. ‘Want to do it again?’ ‘Not now, maybe another day. I’m just glad I got it over with’. ‘I'm glad I could help’ said the stranger starting to walk away. ‘Do you think it sounds immature?’ She asked innocently. ‘Oh no, I get it’ He replied. ‘Roller coasters can be awfully creepy’.

Three...Seven...Seven

2009-08-03T23:14:00.004+05:30

So we were sitting there in the palace grounds, enjoying the wind and the setting sun. I was almost-pestering him about how he needed to settle down, find someone and be all set for the lightning to strike..

That was when she walked in.

She had a very nicely etched out Indian face, sharp features and a very Indo-Gothic look. Smokey eyes, black nail polish, nose piercing. A fine blend. She walked around lazily, taking pictures of this and that, and then she saw us. Him rather. The photographer beside me was trying very hard to show that he wasn’t interested, but his eyes betrayed him each time and they kept darting back to her.

I tried coaxing him to go over and talk. But he preferred his eyes fencing with hers and adding mystery to the beautiful evening. Talking would ruin it all he said. You might be missing out on something huge, was my take. Understanding the shy American and knowing that he didn’t want to verbalize anymore I resumed talking nonchalantly about other random things, something I’m getting extremely good at…

As my curfew drew closer, we decided to wrap up the day..Picking up all of our belongings I looked at the girl who by now was engrossed in a photo shoot of her self, and willed her to come over. But she was too caught up inventing new postures and playing around with the self timer. As we walked away the two barely looked at each other and I laughed playfully, making me feel like I was in high school all over again.

But as we neared the park gates, a voice called out to us, we turned around to see her running to catch up with us. I nudged my friend and threw him the “See I told you!” look and I was happy that the girl decided to make the first move. I smiled as I saw her approach. Atta girl.

And as she spoke to us, it was obvious that I was right. There was only a small mistake though. It wasn’t him that she was interested in, it was me.

The legend of Anna Banana

2009-07-27T21:59:00.021+05:30

This is a true story. The story of Anna Banana. No that's *not* her real name, dummy. I cant use her real name now can I ? Coz if I do, a whole bunch of you retards will google her down and the rest of you, out of love for me, might spam her Orkut profile senseless. So lets call her Anna Banana for now. Why this name? Coz I'll never have a friend who I can call Anna banana, even if I keep the faith! That's why. (Laughing at my own subtle joke. I'd be impressed if any of you got it.)

It was the year 1992 and lil Veda had just started kindergarten. All she remembers of that miserable day was crying her lungs out to her mommy who almost ditched her there. The days that followed were pretty similar. Until she met Anna banana. They hit it off pretty well and stuck together all the way to third grade. (End of narration. Story continues in first person).

We learnt our alphabets together and our rhymes. We were both part of our class dance and class play. She would come over to my house and we would play for hours with our Barbies and when I went to hers, we would watch Free Willy over and over again. She taught me lessons that even my big brother missed out on. Like when she pointed out to me that not every tooth fairy was as cheap as mine. While mine gave me a rupee a tooth, hers gave her ten.

Days went by in the small school and Anna Banana and me were inseparable. She was my BFF! Nothing was going to change that. Well, nothing except her having to move to Africa. Yup! Hindi movie ish-tyle, the heroine of this story had to move to another continent altogether. Tears, hugs, promises to write every day followed.

But promises are never kept. One of my early lessons in life. She did not write for ages, and when she finally did, I did not reply. New friends and new dolls kept me occupied.

Fast forward.

Two years back, out of sheer joblessness, I searched for Anna banana on Orkut. And *tadaa* there she was. Until that point Anna banana was only an almost-mythical figure. All I had of her were patches of good memories and a very old photograph. And I had never again elevated anyone to the post of *BFF*, so that had always kept Anna Bananas memory special. But now, she wasn't just a memory or part of childhood stories told to me. She was a real person. As real as virtually real gets.

Gulping down water, shaking my head in disbelief, smiling broadly, I send her a message. In less than a few hours I get a super excited reply. The very next day we spoke on the phone and that night we had a long nice chat.

How cool would it be if I told you now that we got back in touch and we remain best friends to this day? It would make for a beautiful movie-like story.

But this is a true story, remember? So it has to be real and not reel. So yeah, we spoke and I realized what a conceited bi*ch she was and how we would never gel.

And just like that, after one conversation, my mythical perfect Anna Banana, childhood playmate, Best Friend Forever, lost all her magic & luster and is special no more.

A Venetian’s vent...

2009-07-20T13:15:00.017+05:30

Love is definitely in the air. Especially when you don't want it to be. On the relationship front, everybody wants to know why I'm single. Friends trying to set me up. One of them, you know who you are, tried setting me up with a nauseating psychopath that I still haven't forgiven her for it. My theory is that they're all jealous of my independence. But then again ,its just a theory. (Dont bite!) :P

The other day in college, when a bunch of us were planning a trip that weekend, I was the only one who called up folks, everyone else was texting their better halves (juniors included) and they gave me the 'aw u poor thing looks'! I wanted to scream Its not like I've gotten the plague people!(!!!) but they seemed oblivious to my sentiment. The look appears again often complimented with a hug when we have spare time and everyone's busy calling up their respective hunny bunnies to make sure they're okay; when I press my speed dial & get connected to either my brother or my parents..

To ram this feeling in further, an aunt who was meeting me after almost 10 years, pulled me into a bear hug and then held me tightly by the shoulders and said 'so tell me all about your boyfriend'. When I assured her there wasn't one, dear reader, I kid you not, her face fell.

Going for a wedding has turned out to be another nightmare. That's the playground for the adult folk who take engineered marriages to a whole new level. When they exclaim 'you look soo much older than the last time I saw you!.. They are actually thinking, 'she would look very good with my brothers wife's sisters grandson!' Or when they ask you what your doing, its only to store it in the database for later use.

I knew this would happen. I'd seen this coming and this was partly the reason I was depressed and nostalgic when I turned 20. Relationships status would become priority, even if you didn't want it to be.

If at you-have-just-entered-this-club age of 20 I need to write up a post to sulk and vent out my single-woman frustrations, no wonder Bridget Jones made movies & Carrie Bradshaw wrote a whole bunch of books by 30! ;)

PS: Although the picture is funny, for those of you who think this is an advertisement calling in all single men to get in touch with me, you couldn't be further from the truth. I am single by choice. :|

Summer fun..!

2009-07-19T17:08:00.005+05:30

Its summer vacation and all the cousins are under one roof, better still in the same room. Once the lights go out in my aunt’s room, we turn on our flash lights and tell each other horror stories. The boys get scared but they try to remain calm, at least for their younger sister’s sake. None of us have celebrated our two digit birthdays yet, but we spoke with so much authority and conviction that sometimes even the adults lacked. Finally we hear them snore. They snort out such rhythmic tunes that would put the London symphony orchestra to shame.

Time for action.

Armed with all the allotted armaments we venture out.

Three of us moved toward my aunt. We looked at each other. This is it. My big brother, V, nodded. I took out her expensive lipstick and drew a small line on her forehead. My cousin brother gasped, threw his hands over his mouth, and took a step backward. I passed the lipstick to V and I took another shade. We drew several lines all across her face. Then V took the eyeliner from our cousin and applied his finishing touches. We took a step back, threw our arms around each other and admired our masterpiece. Ghastly. He beamed and I giggled. We went to check on our uncle, the others had done a good job too.

We tip toed our way back to our bunks and did not speak. Everything had worked out as planned. Now they just had to wake up in the morning and meet the adults who lived on the other part of the house. They would all have a good laugh, and that was a great way to kick start April fools day!

The morning came fast and I sleepily opened my eyes. I heard laughter erupt in the hall. I sat up in bed and grinned broadly. The plan worked!! That’s when I heard my cousin wail and run into the room. He looked at me and wailed louder. The others woke up and we all screamed in unison. Our faces were covered in ugly black spots! The adults flowed into the room and laughed again. I dug my face under the pillow, the boys kicked and screamed.

We were mortified. Our plans got washed out and they got their revenge. After a while, we got cleaned up & sat on the porch steps. We hung our heads low & I whined that we would have a terrible April fools day, when the youngest of us, who had just woken up ran over to us. Pointing at her face she screamed, ‘what’s wrong with my face?!’ We looked up at each other when V promptly said, ‘looks like small pox to me!’. ‘Small pox!!!!’ she screeched in her baby tongue. ‘What is that?!’... ‘Come here’ we said and sat around her. April fools wouldn't be too bad after all.

The Pretenders!

2009-07-13T23:48:00.005+05:30

You know what I hate? People who act like other people.

Kiss asses who pretend to be all sweet and smooth. I mean, if you are a kiss ass then be a good non-smooth one! That’s who you are and that’s who you’ll always be! Everyone’s gonna find out someday anyway! So quit all the dramatics and come clean!

And all those backstabbers out there! Don’t pretend you really give a rats ass about anybody! And find pride in the fact that you dont – I mean after all, half the worlds made up of your lot, I’m sure you’d have no hassles fitting in!

But the really nasty ones are the ones who just use you. It could be to steal your money, your friends, your shoes, or your clothes! You guys are plain sick. But don’t listen to me, assholes like you are the survivors…Its not survival of the fittest any longer, its survival of the sickest. So your bunch is gonna rule mankind.

As for all of you echoing my sentiment …I feel the love. I really do.

Confessions of a fashion-dimwit!

2009-07-08T21:25:00.005+05:30

"Fashion show? No chance. Remember what happened last time."

"Last time was different. Its out last year in college, let’s do this."

We had 2 days to prepare for a fashion contest held by the cities top brands. Well first things first. I am not fashionable. I don't understand devil-wears-prada-ish stuff. How can one wearing purple leggings with an orange pull over and a brown belt *and* a huge necklace pass off for a fashionista, is beyond me! I don’t understand pink shoes either.

During our first year in college a bunch of us lets-try-something-newers were lured into joining our college team (oh yeah, we have a all-model team alright!) little did we know what we got ourselves into. The team, well, although ,made up of seniors were not really approved by the college, for reasons that I'm sure your wicked minds can imagine. Anyway crazy complicated story super short, we spent money and learnt the walk and everything but never got our asses onto the stage for their show. Which fyi, is a good thing.

But this time being seniors & having a bunch of juniors alongside, we had 48 hours to prepare for what was supposedly a big deal. A lot of craziness followed. Good creative craziness. We got funky, we got thinking, we acted like a team.

Today was the big day. All of us psyched and all set for the 1st round (prop-less) when we see rival teams walking in, wearing stuff that would’ve taken them at least a month to get together. First “ogle wide eyed”, then doubt, then panic & finally “do we have to do this?”

It was interesting to watch how confident well-practiced teammates of mine fizzled out completely. They lost all the zest and looked feeble. It was even more interesting to see how a pep talk, which was very similar to the ones in war/boxing movies got them all perked up again. A verbal power drink, yeah that's what it was! Next minute the same chick who was crestfallen, punched her fists in the most un-lady like manner, wearing a very traditional saree shouting “lets kick arse!”.

We were ready for battle people. Waiting in the sidelines, Shoulders out, formations playing in the head, people tugging on your clothes trying to adjust this and that, watching the nasty crowd booing a girl who almost fell off the ramp *making a quick mental note*, the cheesy RJ trying to throw you a special smile and a thumbs up, your teachers right up in the first row, wanting to know what in the world you were up to cutting their precious almost lethal classes and finally the entire bloody college waiting for you to make one slip, or so it seems.

The music plays, you leave all the confusion behind. All you hear is the music and you see an ocean of people before you. You smile, remember - chin up, shoulders straight and smile. Oh and walk. You walk, unsure at first and then as the crowd roars, you turn into a crowd pleaser, and add an extra oomph to your walk. You grow more confident, will someone have to drag you away from all this attention & spotlight? You smile inside your head.

Before you know it, they announce before 2000 people that you have won. Every body is on their feet hollering when the unlady-like-lady pulls me into a fierce hug and says, "thanks for the talk". It would be funny if she knew that while I gave it, I was prolly the most unsure of them all.

Random thoughts - 3?

2009-07-06T20:22:00.002+05:30

~My kid sister had her very first heart break. She cried as I hugged her tight, swearing she would never love another. She declared her hate towards all of mankind, and said she would never laugh again. I smiled, stroked her hair and felt all grown up.

~The only day of the week I did not go to college, a historic cat fight broke out. Name calling, hair pulling, slapping- the works. Classes were called off and all hell broke loose in the otherwise peaceful campus.

~A friend who was always career driven, got married, and is having a baby shortly. Another, who’s sole aim in life was to marry a rich dude, so that she could laze about, is all set to go to the states to pursue a double masters. So much for all the planning!

~A guy friend, who firmly despised women who gossiped or bitched, was shocked halfway through a convo when I told him.."what your doing right now, is the definition of bitching". His stand is not-so-firm anymore.

~A blog buddy, told me that her long term perfect boyfriend dumped her after Article 377 came into effect. For the first time, I had no smart ass solution.

~I found a picture of 8 year old me in an old album. Big smile with a black eye. I tried to figure how I got it and remembered! I threw my cousin down the stairs, ran after him and kicked his 10 year old body. He rose and punched me on the face. It was a secret we kept for a long while.

Sensible or cool?

2009-07-05T18:14:00.003+05:30

Her dad said he knew I was sensible and asked me to take care of his daughter.
She wanted me to leave her the hell alone, and let her be with her suitor.

I decided to make the choice, after I met her ‘the one’.
We met. I decided. Daddy dearest had won.

Hurt she returned from an uneventful trip.
I couldn't help but think, Did I just let our friendship slip?

My conscience tells me I did no wrong,
but pray tell me, why do I feel all wrong?

4

2009-06-30T16:39:00.013+05:30

The blog has been getting a tad bit too serious and my blog buddy Mohit got the vibes I sent out across the blogopshere and responded immediately with a Tag. My fourth so far, this means that people have not had enough of me, talking about my favorite subject - Me, Myself & I! :)

Four places you have lived:

This one's super simple, coz there's just two! So the first ten years of my life was spent in a hill station north of Kerala..Lived with the birds and the bees, climbed trees, ate wild fruits, went swimming in streams, trekking in hills, lived on my bicycle (proof of which still exist on my otherwise sexy legs!), read Amar Chitra Katha's,Astrix and books by Enid Blyton, Mary Alcott and a horde of other writers..the next 10 were spend in the capital of the state, doing nothing of the aforementioned gimmicks, but a whole lot of other slightly more mature stuff...

Four TV shows you love(d) to watch :

Scrubs (I love how insanely wacky it is!)
Whose Line is it anyway (Sheer Brilliance!)
Friends (Do I even have to explain?)
Simpsons (coz Homer he makes me laugh my @$$ off!)

House MD is a family favorite...and I can sit through anything except the Bold and the Beautiful...Can someone please kill them all?!

Four places you would like to go on vacation :

Africa (I've read many books based on this land & I cant wait to go see it all!)
Venice (before it dies/drowns!)
Kashmir (don't you?)
Machu Picchu (Book-effect, again)

Four of your favorite foods :

French Fries,
Carrot Halwa,
Appam & Stew (Kerala ish-tyle!)
Idli, Sambar & Chutney

How South Indian am I ?! ;)

Four websites you visit almost daily :

Facebook
Twitter
Gmail
Ted

Four places you would rather be:

Scuba Diving in the Fiji Islands
Learning voodoo in Haiti
In the next room - doing what I'm supposed to be doing
Santa Barbara CA - :)

Four things you hope to do before you die :

Bungee Jump - Overcome my fears!
Kiss a python - same reason
Fall madly in love (loved madly-er in return!)
Write a best seller

Four novels you wish you were reading for the first time:

None except for maybe the Harry Potter series, as juvenile as it sounds, they're awesome.

Four movies you love :
The Notebook
Forrest Gump
Gladiator
A Roman Holiday

I'm tagging :

The nice guy, Zoobie & the hilarious (at times cranky) C-Bear!

Her story...

2009-06-25T17:38:00.005+05:30

As I watch her every day, I don’t just see the person she is, but I see the person she was and most importantly the person she could have been. I learn from tales told to me that a lot of people, rested hopes on her. They knew that one day she would make them proud. They saw in her the person they wanted to be but would never have become. Each one had a special dream in store for her. And they adored her. Like their own child, they loved her. She brought a glow to a room when she entered it, she made people laugh and they loved having her around. And so the expectations grew and people waited in anticipation for her to reach the heights she was destined to reach.

But our girl, oblivious to all this lived life her way, without a care or thought, acted on impulse, lived on impulse. When she had to make a choice, she chose love. That one decision would alter the course of her life and wreck the dreams everyone had for her. She had not known the impact her action would have, and how the effects of one careless decision would trail into the next generation. She altered her way of life, she adopted a whole new value system, created new priorities and set her standards lower.

When she sees them now, after so many years, she still sees the disappointment in their eyes. And that makes her question everything. Was it all worth it? Breaking a bunch of hearts to save one?

She told herself that she had made a decision and now she had to stick to it. She looked at them again, but this time overlooked the million things their eyes told her.

Some days as I watch her I wish I had the courage to make a choice such as that, of that enormity. Some days I’m glad I don’t.

Yin OR Yang ?!

2009-06-16T08:03:00.010+05:30

The first time I read Roots by Alex Haley was back in the 7th grade, I was bowled over by the book & it secured my ‘fav book’ spot for ages! But now all I remember of the large book is the name ‘Kunta Kinte’, the protagonist. So I decided to re-read it.

In the book there is a part where, an old woman from Kunta’s village, Nyo Boto tells the children a story of a boy who happened to find a crocodile trapped in a net on the riverbank. The croc asked the boy to help him, the boy obviously scared, refused . The croc assured him that he would do no harm and called the boy nearer. But as soon as he took the next step the croc seized his foot and held it in its long mouth. The boy furiously cried “Is this how you repay my goodness- with badness?” To which the croc replies “Of course! That is the way of the world”. The boy refused to believe that, so the croc agreed not to swallow him without getting an opinion from the first three witnesses to pass by. The first and second witnesses, a donkey and a horse agreed with the croc. The last witness was a plump rabbit, who upon hearing of the dilemma says that he cannot help unless he saw what happened from the beginning. Grumbling, the croc opened his mouth to tell him and the boy jumped away to the safety of the riverbank. The boy takes the rabbits advice & runs to his village and brings people who kill the croc. The boy then smiles at how he was right after all, when the woulo dog the men brought with them, chased, caught & killed the rabbit. So the croc was right, concluded old Nyo Boto, It is the way of the world that goodness is often repaid with badness!

Being the optimist that I am, I shrugged this story away. I would never believe what old Nyo Boto said! But before I could complete this train of thought, the memory of an incident that took place not too long ago floated into my head. [Great how I have a personal story to commemorate every philosophy I read through huh? ;) I know..] So anyway I met this girl, lets call her DB for Dumb Bimbo (that’s how her name reads on my phone anyway) at a photo shoot for an ad. In the brief time I spent with her on set, she talked passionately about how she wanted to be a model/actress and I made a mental note of it. So almost a year later an acquaintance calls me up and asks me if I would like to do a small role in a mallu movie. I replied “Are u eff-in kidding me, of course not!” . My not so gracious reply stung. So to ease things, I told him I knew someone who was looking for a break, and I call DB. So DB is super psyched that I called her, after ignoring all her texts and calls for over a year I bet she fell off her chair when she saw the call. Anyway I hardly say a line or 2 when DB starts shrieking and even rattles on with “I will never forget you did this for me”..Did I mention DB qualifies as a kiss arse too?! [Does that make her KADB-haha]Anyway..*straight face* long story short, I give her the guys number, wish her luck and get on with things.

A week or so later, well past midnight I get a call from a strange number & my hello was answered with “Where is my sister?”. So for someone who’s watching re-reuns of goofey simpsons and eating Nutella, this will make very little sense. So I went “HUH?!!” But the spookey mafia-ish voice on the other end tells me he’s DB’s brother and DB hasn’t come home yet and the only thing they know is that “I” sent her somewhere. He wanted to know what I’d done with his sister. I looked at the clock, 1.05am. A series of franatic phone calls followed. The guy who had called in the 1st place & DB had their phones switched off. I tried very hard and stayed composed. And even prayed! After an hour or so DB calls and is all laughs & giggles. I don’t think I have ever been that mad at anyone. I shouted my brains out at her after which DB replies “Hey chill veda, my battery died that’s why I didn’t call home, they didn’t have much to say so why the hell are ‘u’ jumping at me”. (!!!)

So after the ordeal, when I lay on my bed relieved that DB wasn’t raped and murdered and dumped in a pit somewhere after which her mafia-ish brother would have me framed and behind bars, I began to retrospect. I went out of my way to help DB, something I don’t always do. I took the effort to make a few calls, find if the deal was worth it and even put up with her shrieking, and “that” was what I got.

So Old Nyo Boto wasn’t senile & talking crazy. The world is a place filled with disrespectful, back stabbing, jealous, vicious people. Acquainting yourself with them in anyway, helping or not helping, would do you no good.

But this doesn’t sound right does it? Not coming from the ever-so-happy me! The idealist in me reminds my brand new cynical side about all the RD articles, Oprah shows, sappy movies, sappier books & heartumentaries I've seen, that goodness exists! Its just that we tend to forget the good stuff faster than we forget the nasty ones!

Bringing an end to all the cerebral confusion & flutter and remaining positive I feel that maybe the world is beautiful after all...

...Notice how I said maybe.

Zone out & Zone back in!

2009-06-01T19:39:00.006+05:30

The TV blares. Techno beats manage to escape the closed wooden doors. People are always coming in- friends, family, friend’s family, family’s friends. Laughter is always in the air. At the dining table, crossing each other on the hallway, sitting around playing Uno past midnight, there’s always people laughing out loud. Nieces and nephews keep turning up, taking turns to be babysitted. This is where I'm temporarily put up. My aunts place. A joint and very social family. Its lovely, but for someone who requires some time to space out (refer older posts to realize significance), a couple of days and all this can become a lil overwhelming.

To escape this mayhem, I divulge into books and read for hours together. People generally leave me alone when Im reading. But hundred and odd pages, in almost the same position without a break isn’t too pleasant either. I was beginning to feel uneasy, restless, frustrated and worst of all- creatively challenged. Amid all this fun and noise I could not think up one sensible post. I visit this page and feel guilty for not writing more frequently. But then again I couldn’t just type something up for the sake of it- that would be parallel to insulting your intellect, and that certainly is not something I wish to do.

Anyway, like I was saying- I was desperate. That’s when I got a call. I walked out of the house coz I couldn’t hear what was being said and strolled up to the terrace. But by the time I had settled down on the warm terracotta floor, the call ended. So I just sat there, away from the racket. I had not been up there in ages and almost kicked myself for it. The view was prettier than I remembered it to be. Hundreds of Coconut trees accompanied by tall apartment complex’s.

I watched the sky change its hue, a plane take off gracefully, lights being switched on in random apartments, a lonely cloud that looked like a unicorn change gradually into a man throwing a Frisbee (oh yea, Im deadly at the make-a-figure-out-of-the- cloud game!) and I relished the quiet. Even the crickets seemed to shut up for me! For the first time in a long time my mind stopped rattling and I could hear myself think.

After I spotted the first star in the sky and slowly descended the stairs, I heard laughter erupt from the house. I smiled and returned to the chaos.

What a girl wants

2009-05-25T21:50:00.015+05:30

Old habits die hard. As a kid it seems I used to listen to the same nursery rhyme till even the maid was humming it! My current favo song keeps playing on loop till I get sick of hearing it. OCD in a trivial way perhaps. Dev D is my latest fad. Watching certain scenes from the movie has become almost habitual. This compulsive watching helped the long standing argument b/w mom and me to finally reach a consensus:

Dev is hot. Period.

I find a dirty, in all probabilities; stinking, doped, irresponsible, egoistic, looser - sexy. Ironically, I also share the sentiment about the completely waxed, (hopefully) better smelling, 6-packed abed dude who graced the cover of a popular men’s magazine.

So then this got me thinking - What do women really mean when they call a man sexy?

From the facts pointed out above, it’s obvious that it’s not just about the looks.

When I’ve been quizzed about who I thought was the ‘sexiest’ man alive. My answer was (almost) always Mel Gibson in Brave Heart.

Not a pretty picture huh? And yet he makes it to the top of my list!

Sexiness transcends what you’ve been born with. Eye-catching looks are only a result of good genes with zero effort from your part. It’s got to do more with what kind of man you’ve become & most importantly how you treat your woman.

The way William Wallace (Mel Gibson) looks, smiles, holds his childhood sweetheart is beautiful. The same goes to Dev, who inspired this post. His eyes ooze love in the second part of the movie when he begins to fall for Chanda.

I was at a party recently and amid all the young, vibrant guys there, I found a bald headed, pear shaped guy the most sexy. There were some real nice looking guys around, but they seemed to lack something the sweet baldie had lots of. I saw the way he looked at his wife, as if he was oh-so-in-love (after 8 years of marriage I learnt later!) and how he took an attempt to make his wife comfortable with all his friends.

So back to the small part of the big question, What does a woman really want?! The answer to which even Freud couldn't find after thirty years of research into the feminine soul as he put it. The small part of it of course yours truly is trying to decipher with one post.

So, What is sexy?!

o Hot bod accompanied with deadly looks? - No.
o Being a nice guy in general. - No.
o Being a pushover boyfriend satisfying his girl's every whim & fancy. - Hell No!
o Being corny, cheesy & presenting perfect answers 24/7- I don't think so!
o A bit of all of the above? - Now your talking! ;)

I wish I could be crisper and clearer about my answer so that men out there could use this as their dating bible and feel good (and sexy) about themselves when they flex imaginary muscles before the mirror. But my answer cant be put across better than it has in a scene in P.S I love you...

Daniel : What do women want?
Holly : [whispering] We have no idea what we want.
Daniel : I knew it!

Sharing my space

2009-05-18T20:57:00.007+05:30

A maid brought her daughter to stay at home with us, as she was having her summer holidays. When she introduced her 8 year old to me, I smiled and ruffled her hair. This she took as a sign and immediately came closer and stuck to me, worse still, she began following me around. For a person who values privacy and `space’ this was a nightmare.

She did not speak the same language as I did, so there was nothing to be said. Yet she followed me around. As frustrating as it was, I played along the first day but then soon my patience wore out. I would invent ways to shoo her away, for eg, I would ask her to fetch me something I didn’t need from some other part of the house. I couldn’t keep this up for long as I was running out of things to tell her. By day three, I rolled my eyes, made my voice scary and pointed my fingers away and tried signalling B.U.Z.Z O.F.F. She looked up at me with her big round eyes, looked at my finger, and smiled. She had a million dollar smile and she knew it. Soon I did what any mature, self respecting adult would do - I complained to my mommy. :P Mom laughed it off and said she saw absolutely no harm in the `poor lil girl’ following me around.

I would wake up in the morning to find her standing next to my bed. On a usual day I would poke my head out of the rug, reach out for my phone, check the time, and if it was late, I would pick up a book and continue reading where I left off last night (helps me focus faster) and if it was early, I’d laze around a lil’ while longer. But now, as soon as I woke up I’d see her standing there, hands to her sides clutching her frock. Once she was sure I wouldn’t pounce on her she would flash that smile and hand me my phone. Some mornings, I would just look at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking, and she would look right back.

After I dragged myself to the garden swing with the paper, she would very carefully bring me my tea. I learnt later that she would cause a riot in the kitchen if anyone else dared bring me the tea. And then, as always, she’d stick around. If I was watching a movie, reading a book, surfing, she’d be around playing I-have-no-idea what games by herself, or she would sing (again to herself) or she’d be drawing in a lil book. I once signalled to her to show me the book but she looked away. When I get dressed to go out, she would stare at my lip gloss with awestruck eyes, and ran around flaunting her lips to every one when I put some on her. Anyway after a week or so, I’d gotten used to having her around.

Her first evening home, I’d noticed her looking at a firefly. So I said out loud firefly. She repeated it. And many days later, after we’d become buddies, she came up to me and said firefly. I was shocked she even remembered it as I had mentioned it only once. So then each day I would teach her a bunch of words and I was glad that she was eager to learn. By the end of that week we’d moved on to sentences like `I am hungry’,` I want to play’ etc. One day she brought me her lil book and I was surprised by all the lovely rangoli designs she had made in them. So as I taught her English, she taught me to draw rangolis.

When I left home I guess the only other person other than my dog who made a fuss about me leaving (my folks are always subtle) was this girl. I’d known her for only a little while, of which we’d begun to speak pretty late and I’d begun to like her even later. But then as I gave her a hug and said g’bye, I knew I’d miss the kid who’d marched into my space, refused to leave and eventually won me over.

As kids see it

2009-05-15T09:58:00.004+05:30

I was told this story recently. I don’t remember the event but it has turned into a family joke. The whole point was that my parents were trying to bamboozle me into giving my big brother some respect! ;)

I was around ten. My folks were telling me this story of how they once took my newly born brother to a friend’s house where an old woman lived. She was said to have the power to foresee. They told me that when the old lady saw them, she walked to over to my brother, picked him up, removed all his clothing, placed him on her lap, stared at him for a while and finally declared that he would live a great life. The story was narrated to me with an air of mystery; sound effects, voice modulations et al.

As soon as the story wrapped up, my brother walked in. “What are you guys talking about”, he quizzed? I looked at him simply and said, “seems an old crazy lady stripped you off your clothing, held you butt naked, gawked at your weenie and declared you’d be great”. My parents were shocked, brother was mortified and I walked away utterly unimpressed.

A crazy week

2009-05-11T15:00:00.006+05:30

It had been a boring month. I was on self imposed house arrest, paying the price for not touching books all year. Finally I was done with all my main papers and my subsidiary paper exam was a week away. I had to go. My crazy ass cousin had been asking me to go over ever since he got back to India. He was one guy we all thought would sober down after getting married, but he happened to marry the feminine version of himself and the crazy ass couple had a baby who was turning one. Super aunt me went to witness the event and bless him of course! ;) Once I get there I was left with no doubts that the lil guy had inherited the crazy assness from his folks. One night he threw such a tantrum and there were about 8 people trying to calm him down. Grand parents, aunts, uncles try tricks to soothe him. Nothing worked until my crazy ass cousin(s) step in, pick the kid up and leave. They go on a drive around the city and the minute the car left the house gates the kid stopped screaming. Just like that. Get what I’m saying?

Anyway I spent a couple of days with them. Every morning I would wake up to my excited cousin announcing “hey vedz, lets go here today..what says you?”. And even before I get my head round the idea we were off. The first day we drove to a hill station and got back at 3 am the next morning. All I remember of that trip was trying to make my cousin understand that hair pin bends and me don’t go too well unless I had a anti-vomiting tab, he would not give in. And then I had a lil too much to drink in his car and right after the first hair pin bend, I stuck to my word and screamed over the loud music telling him I wanted to puke. I jumped out the car even before he stopped it. Watching me puke made my sister in law puke. So there we were in the middle of nowhere two girls throwing up, a guy in the middle holding us both and a wide eyed toddler wondering what the hell was going on. Picture that!

I slept a long while and woke up at noon and my sister in law announces that there’s a waterfall a few hours drive away and we could get back before dawn if we left “right now”. So back on the car, this time thankfully no hair pin bends and no alcohol. The trip was fun and as expected, we got back before dawn.

After sleeping for a few hours, no prizes for guessing. They found another place to drive to. I was game for it. But all of us woke up too damn late so we decided to spend the day indoors. Watched a couple of dvd’s. Caught up on reading and sleep.

The next day my brother calls up and says his friend had gotten us tickets to the AR Rahman concert and we needed to leave the next day. As I had studied absolutely nothing for the exam I decided to leave immediately. So I got into the next train, reached home and hit the bed. Studied for a while the next day and then at night my brother and I got into a Volvo bus that would take us to Calicut.

Although he slept off pretty soon, I could not. Finally at around 1 the bus stopped somewhere, all I saw was a sad excuse for a electrical shop and a garage. I closed the curtains and my eyes. I wake up at around 7, my brothers still asleep and I open the curtains. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. This couldn’t be happening. I was looking at the same electronics shack and the same garage. The bus had broken down the night before. So we wait for over an hour more till the sole guy in the garage fixes the bus. A commotion was beginning to brew, I turned around and pretended to sleep. We had to get to Calicut only by 4 pm and the only other way we could get our asses off that god forsaken place was to hitch hike, as we were in no big hurry we decided to wait it out, let the one man show continue, and prayed that the guy knew what he was doing.

The mother of the friend whose place we were headed to was a gifted cook. I had heard tales of her legendary culinary skills. While I spent the noon sleeping off the excess-food-induced-weariness, the guys went to collect the tickets from his uncle. They got back soon enough and woke me up saying that they had gotten tickets worth 500 bucks (lowest ones) so I shouldn’t expect too much. My excitement dropped a bit but as I opened the envelopes I saw them both smirking at me. The tickets were worth 15,000 and that meant we’d be sitting in the VIP area. I smirked right back.

The best part about getting there 3 hours early was walking the red carpet and watching the place fill up. There were no huge stars and the only person I bothered to get up and photograph was Saira Banu, the woman behind AR Rahman. It was amusing to watch B-grade actors and actresses walk around with SO much more attitude than the maestro himself. He seemed so docile and far too gentle for a person of his stature. The show itself was extraordinary. Sitting in the second row meant that the speakers were only a few feet away, and they were the mother of all speakers. The phrase ‘I can feel my heart beat’ took a whole new meaning that evening.

The next day we hung around the city going to various places unique to Calicut and at night we reached the station for our train back home and found the train was late by an hour. More waiting, this time at the railway station steps. We got home and I rushed to college for my exam. Once I got back I unpacked, repacked and caught an overnight bus to my parents place. The next morning I get here and do what I do best, laze around. Finally.

The fear of being forgotten

2009-05-09T17:20:00.009+05:30

She sees it before it sees her,
Her heart quickens and her mind races,
‘This is it’, she thinks and closes her eyes,
The impact took her breath away, literally.

She is off the map of living human lives,
She ceases to exist and is now just a memory,
She knew this day would come,
The only question was, where from?

Did she fear it? Like other mortals,
Or did she fear something more?
If no one remembered her after she was gone,
What was the point of having lived so long?

Since this thought struck her she tried to make her days matter,
Doing the right things, at the right time,
Wanting to make the most of her time in everyway,
So that people would look back and talk about her someday.

But really, she now thinks, who the hell cares?
For once your dead your dead & you remain dead,
People who knew you would die too,
So is this persistent fear just her mind going halaboo?

Immortality is what our hearts want,
Just one among the million other things it craves for,
But death is not the end, our minds console us,
Then what the hell is, I fuss.

Recession for Dummies

2009-05-09T09:09:00.003+05:30

Its too late in the day to ask someone about the origin of the economic meltdown. This is precisely why many out there pretend to know whats happening, although in reality, they have no bloody idea.

This is by far the best explanation I've come across. Courtesy: Muthukumar & Co.

May you be enlightened! ;)

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.

Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Its Raining Men!

2009-05-02T15:45:00.007+05:30

The first time a boy told me he liked me was when I was in the 7th standard.

I was new in school and he pretended to be a friend. He showed me around and did everything that friends would normally do. And then one day out of the blue, when we were alone in class during the lunch break he got all corny and cheesy and told me that he liked me ‘romantically’. I was shocked, hurt and royally pissed off and blurted out “but I thought you were my friend” and WHACK, slapped him! I think he cried. I am not too sure.

I came back home and my folks were sitting in the front room. Without wasting a moment I announced “A boy said he liked me ‘romantically’ “..Adding extra stress to the last word. The laughter vaporized from both my parents faces. “And what did you do” asked mom. “I slapped him” I stated very matter of factly *nose in air*. Dad got up from his chair, walked up to me and pulled me into one of his big bear hugs, looked at me so proudly and said, “next time kutta, poke his eyes out!” Mom of course, came running, almost pushed him aside and began with “Veda...that is NOT how you handle boys”…

But I wasn’t listening to her, I was smirking at dad. Looking at the both of us, mom knew it was too late. The damage had been done.

Since then I’ve not taken it well when men have liked me 'romantically'. Some of them are nice, but they are not smart enough and the smart ones are not nice enough. The smart and nice ones? Well, they’re not hot enough and i am not willing to settle for anything less... :P

There is also a certain sense of sadistic pleasure involved in blowing someone off. It could get addictive. I’m sure there are guys out there singing Justin Timberlake’s “what goes around comes around” and dedicating it to me or are waiting patiently for karma to get me, but when you think of the amount of crap women have to put up with compared to men, I think this is one of the perks you get for being a girl!!

Customizing the words of Descartes;

PS: I don’t slap men nor am I r.u.d.e to them any longer, my sadistic alter ego is kept satisfied by rejecting all the ‘do you want a friendship with me’ invitations in social networking sites. ;)

Random Thoughts-3 (!! Tadaa !!)

2009-04-26T02:13:00.015+05:30

Hey you guys!! I am almost done with my universities. All I have left are two subsidiary (not-so-important) papers which are a month away. So I guess its safe to say- Me revoila! ;)

…so here’s an update on some of the stuff my mind has churned up the past month:

• I voted for the very first time. Did not have to stand In any sorta queue, the place was empty and the process was zimble!

• I learnt that I don’t really need 15 minutes after I wake up to ‘focus’. I can get out of bed, pick up a book and be very clear in thought. So I guess “I am focusing” is a mere excuse to listen to loud music and win over the sodoku page. Damn. I loved that part of the morning.

• I also learnt that I ‘can’ survive w/o the internet. Two weeks at a net-deprived friends place and I lived to tell the tale.

• All these days I thought I was only acrophobic & ophidiophobic. (Fear of heights & snakes). I thought I could handle everything else but boy was I wrong! I saw a spider and roach up c.l.o.s.e and now, just the thought of them makes me wanna do some serious freaking out.

• The fake IPL player’s blog has been interesting to follow. He is a great marketing tactic. I wonder who thought it up.

• I need to think of smarter ways to dodge people. My ignore List is growing, and im running out of excuses for not picking up calls/replying to texts. Why bother making an excuse? Coz I’ve been blessed with this gift of bumping into someone I ‘don’t’ wanna bump into almost every time I step out of the house. No kidding. Give me ideas.

• Studying Income Tax is not so bad after all.

• Do not pre judge people. Be less cynical. Susan Boyle & Paul Potts reminded me.

• I sat through Bucket List w/o shedding a tear. I never cease to surprise myself!

• Jelly fishes are too beautiful to be deadly.

• A guy buddy got me pepper spray as a belated b’day gift. I think it’s the most thoughtful/useful gift ever. Exactly why my kid cousin sister borrowed (stole) it the very next day.

• My brothers gloating about how he taught our dog, Tia to shake hands this time he went home. So now when I go, I am hell bent on teaching her to hi-five! Sibling rivalry at its best ;)

• Tigers really should be made the kings of the jungle. They look so much more majestic than the lions. But I guess looks don’t matter here either! :P

• The Trivandrum zoo is lovely. Its by far my most favorite hangout in the city.

• I am finally a final year student. One more year, I get my degree & I can get the hell out!

• This guy's blog has been ranked Asia’s Best Humour Blog and No. 2 in the World Rankings in the Humour Category - I don’t find him funny! He reminds me of this annoying guy I used to know-X. X wasn’t funny, but tired to be funny in a very un-funny way. No wonder X made it to my ‘used-to-know’ list.

• I can’t understand why people have turtles as pets. They don’t even move!! I don’t get it !!! Cant you just keep a colorful stone in a bowl or something? Same results, more cost effective and I bet it'll look better too!

Exams !!!

2009-04-03T12:45:00.004+05:30

*Drum roll* ..Universities are here..Its a big deal..I therefore will be channelizing all my creative energies into making inspiring and brilliantly crafted mnemonics & inventive last minute study patterns. Since I am going to be creativity-deprived, this blog will be far from active..Dead actually..Sad I know, but it will be resurrected shortly..Till then I leave you to ponder over this thought provoking poster I found :P! Have a fun month! :)

Jaago Re!

2009-03-23T16:16:00.010+05:30

(A concise news-paper friendly version of this article was published in the Indian Express dated 25.March.2009)

No other country in the world will have candidates like the ones we do for our general elections.

When you look at it superficially its almost comical. A little more closely and it gets disturbing.

I was drinking tea when a news channel reported that Mayawati had announced her list of candidates for Uttar Pradesh, and that it included at least eight with criminal backgrounds. I laughed out loud at first, almost spitting out my tea. More dons and goons entering the political system. Just what we needed. And then I really began thinking about it. I mean, how can such obviously insane things be pulled off so easily in this country?!

In our own state, the majority of our politicians are high school drop outs, headed by the CM whose educational qualification stretches out to the seventh standard. I wonder how much of complex economic and social issues someone like that would understand.

Alright, we are all used (although we shouldn’t be) to the the ill-educated, corrupt politicians, but you feel a sense of hopelessness when the young guns, like Varun Gandhi, who did his schooling in Rishi Valley and is an alumni of LSE, talk in the most communally charged language than has ever been heard in public!

For long we have cribbed and complained about the leaders of our country. Every school or college debate I’ve been in had at least one topic which directly or indirectly lead to this. When I talk to friends of mine about the elections, the reactions are varied. Most of them don’t give a damn! Politics of this country in no way affects them. Some others are proud that they have no electoral cards, standing in a poll booth and choosing a candidate is beneath them. Many had the “who cares who wins anyway, everyone’s equally bad” reasoning. Only a handful of people were actively tracking the events and seemed genuinely interested.

All these days, when the conversation reached this point, I would keep quiet. Because like it or not, it is true. Maybe there are politicians out there who really want to do good, but with time, he gets his priorities reshuffled. Doing good will fit in somewhere, I’m sure. But it will take a back seat.

Raykesh Om Prakash Mehra in a post-Rang De Basanti interview, told a youngster who was playing out the blame game that she should stop whining because if she really wanted to change the system, she had to be part of the system.

I am not asking people here to enter politics, and change the system! It would be lovely if young people did that of course, but I would never do it and hence I think I’m in no position to ask you to. Anyway, what you can do, is to go out there, and irrespective of party, cast your vote for the most eligible candidate. You get to be part of the largest democratic process in the world, thereby giving meaning to something your ancestors fought for and millions around the world are still fighting and dying for.

This year especially, if you’re a resident of Trivandrum, your exceptionally lucky as we finally have a man with substance, Dr. Shashi Tharoor, who has proved himself internationally, contesting. So for the love of god, get your cards out and go vote as one cannot ask for a better candidate or for a better beginning for your non-existent political activism.

PS: If not having an electoral card is the only factor stopping you, go here. If your still not going to vote, shame on you! You hereby loose your right to crib and complain !!

..|..|..|..

2009-03-20T10:49:00.003+05:30

Staring at an empty word document and a blinking cursor, not having any clue on what to type is an unpleasant experience…I would know…I’ve been doing that for quite a while now.

I’ve never forced myself to write before...The idea always came first, keying it down was the natural second step.

When an idea hits you while your staring at the cursor, the feeling of relief is pleasant. I would know…It just did.

But as you begin to type, you realize that the idea was just an idea of a real idea, and hence will not make for an effective post.

You get back to staring at the cursor. You think about all the topics you have an opinion about. If your someone like me, you’d have a take on almost everything. You think of topic one, topic two, topic three. Boredom hits you.

You then realize this is going nowhere. Certain things cant be forced out of you. It has to hit you square in the face.

Till then, the blog sleeps.

Q & A

2009-03-20T00:09:00.010+05:30

Jessie wants me to answer these Q's. Is it just me or do I get tagged quite often? I guess Im just awfully interesting! :P

Anyway, here I go (again!)

Your crazy about
Certain people, certain music, certain food, certain other things.

Your first thought when you hear ‘Pink’
These days the Pink Chaddi campaign. Usually Cotton candy.

You are impressed by
Anyone who can sing Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire' as well as he did!!

You are turned off by
Depressed/depressing people

Your glad you aren’t
A conjoint twin. I need my space!!

You know your sad when
I get extra sensitive.

Music is
A necessity.

Sex?
Better live upto all the hype.

Do you want to find your better half now?
Not yet.

Commitment?
Sure! Someday.

Best part about School?
Friends. Being Head Girl.

Best part about college?
Attendance is not an issue.

How will you handle this recession?
Study right through it. Masters, Post masters…here I come.

Career over love?
Depends on ‘when’.

You hate it when
People are insensitive.

Your sibling is
The only guy I would trust completely. He’s my favorite man!

You know your in trouble when
I cant find a solution.

You know your in love when
I do all the stupid things lovers usually do, without feeling stupid.

You wish you had
A personal gym at home :P

Death?
After I strike out everything from my Bucket list.

Old age?
I hope Im not alone.

Your favorite stress buster
The Rubik's Cube

Thrifty or splurgey?
Leaning toward splurgey.

Favorite game?
Q & A

You’d lay down your ego for?
Very very very few.

You don’t understand
Chemistry!! Never did. :S

Common perception about you, which is untrue.
I don’t eat men! (I gave up long ago!lol)

Something that is actually true.
I can be a bitch.

God?
I have my doubts.

Parents?
Cant live with them, cant live without them..haha.

I tag Nikhil, who never ceases to impress me :)

How it all began :)

2009-03-11T08:59:00.002+05:30

Read this on a random site. Found it interesting. Pasting it on the blog for your edification and enjoyment ;)

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French,saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"

Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

Annddd touchdown!! (20!)

2009-03-06T19:45:00.003+05:30

Its always nice when you set a target and you achieve it. It means a lot of things. In this case it means that :

• I’m not as lazy as I thought I was
• I have a lot to say
• I can be consistent if I want to be

The third and most important point matters a whole lot to me. For a long while, the major flaw I saw in myself was that I wasn’t consistent with things I picked up. Lemme explain this to you with some examples.

Not consistent story # 1: I am not a morning person. Far from it. But I, along with my mom would wake up every morning at 5.00 and practice yoga for two hours. We did this for almost two years. It was one of the best things I’d done for myself. But then mom leaves and I stop.

Not consistent story # 2: The mime competition, which was not just a competition but a whole experience in itself required us to work out and exercise for at least 3 to 4 hours a day for more than a month. At the end of the long haul, physically I was at my best. Flexible and agile. Everyone around me told me to keep the tempo going, because it was acquired after a lot of effort. I told myself this. But surprise surprise, over a year later, I’m back to touching-my-toes-hurt situation.

Not consistent story # 3: When I began blogging, an older wiser buddy, told me that I had to write at least one post a day. He said he carried it off for six months without a break. That obviously that has not happened here.

I hope you get the drift about what I'm trying to tell you. If I keep narrating stories about how I have not been consistent, I’ll just loose all my self worth, and end up depressed and that certainly is not the goal of this post.

The goal however, is proving to myself that I can stick to things if I really really wanted to. I know 20 posts in less than 20 days doesn’t sound like much. Well, it is not. But considering the amount of things I have to get done(universities in less than a month), the numerous factors that distract me from doing them, the fact that its summer and I'm perpetually sulking and most importantly, how lazy I am; this my friends is a huge achievement.

*You are expected to reflect over my awesomeness at this juncture*

I hope this does not turn into ‘Not consistent story # 4’, whereby I make 20 posts, reach my target, and then forget all about the fact that I have a blog and I have a lot to say.

Well I guess, only time will tell. Meanwhile, you could all help by reminding me to post once in a while, in your nice and not so nice ways.

Who am I kidding?! You lazy asse’s hardly leave comments to brilliantly written posts and I expect you to enthuse me when I’m lazy? Yeah Right! :P

The Tycoon story (19)

2009-03-04T14:21:00.005+05:30

My blog archive tells me I’ve written 17 posts in 2007 and 18 in 2008. This is sad. It really is. I make up my mind to write 20 posts in less than 20 days about the 20 years of my life and I am one post away from accomplishing it. What does this statistic establish? That I am bloody lazy. That’s all. The funniest thing is, 2008 was one of the most eventful years I’ve had. And I haven’t written a single post about any one of the exciting stuff. Maybe some. But not all. That is sadder.

The big story I didn’t write about, but I should’ve : The Tycoon Championship.

We were walking down the steps of our department when we saw a multi color stylish poster that read out Tycoon-2008. It said that Tycoon was the hunt for the best business brain, next big thing etc. One of my friends, lets call her X, had her notepad out already and was scribbling away to glory the details of the event. The college wise prelims was sometime later next week. We walked on. Talked about better things. Sometime later that week, we learnt we were to have a surprise test. The lady who taught us was nice enough to announce it during the break, thereby making sure the only hour we got free on campus, we spent ruffling through her text books. That is a mean thing to do. I don’t like it when people do mean things. So some of us began to think of many ways we could bunk the test. That’s when X announced that the tycoon prelims test was that afternoon, and if we hurried we could still register. Grabbing a pen and rushing out around 30 of us landed up at the registration counter, many of us had no idea what we were to do and many others hadn’t even seen the poster, so they had absolutely no idea!

So anyway, once we settle down a charming enigmatic man comes up to us and explains what the whole thing was about. It sounded fun. Real fun. We were to answer a 100 question business quiz and 3 of us would to be selected from our college. The 3 college champs would then qualify for the city finals, and if you won that, you’d go for regionals, nationals and so on. The prizes were amazing; the people involved were the people I’d only seen in CNBC and Profit. As the immensity of the whole thing hit me, I regretted not having paid more attention to the poster and I felt super jealous of my friend who had spent the whole week preparing for the test.

We took the test in one of the exam halls & the room was packed. We got out and my friends were echoing my sentiment. "We should’ve prepared!. We just let something so huge pass us by." The only person who couldn’t stop smiling was X. We were happy for her. I think I was. No, I’m sure I was. Jealous, yes. Happy too.That afternoon results come and X came second.

The next day I’m walking to my stop for my college bus when I get a call from the charming enigmatic man, saying they I had come third and hence I had qualified for the city finals. I thought it was a joke, sure my friends were pulling one on me. But only after around 5 minutes of “yeah right’s” did it hit me that it was the real deal. I tell X about it. Roles reversed. She’s happy for me. I think she is. No I’m sure she is. Jealous, yes. Happy too.

I then decide that this time, I had to prepare. But with 3 days to go, there’s a limit to how much you can.

City finals. There were students from colleges in Trivandrum, Kollam and some other places. I walked out of my home telling my folks that I’d be back in an hour or so. No big deal. The first round was to be a 300 Question business quiz, with no options. Just a line for your answer & negative marking. I sms’ed my mom that I wouldn’t even take an hour. After the test, I just wanted to go home. I got ready to leave and gave all my study material to X, who suggested I eat something first. So then we hog! I strike up a convo with an organizer who had just joined our table, and told her I wasn’t gonna wait around for the results when she winked and said that I had to. Just then, results are read out. Among the 50 or so of us (3 frm each college) 10 of us got chosen. My name was read out along with X’s. I smsed my mom again. ‘Going to take a lil’ while longer than I thought.’

The next round was The oral business quiz with 5 levels. I never knew that hour long debates with my dad, almost forceful readings of Business line and the Ft articles I subscribed to would help me as much as it did that day. It was my Slum Dog Millionaire moment. As I sat there amidst voracious quizzers, I knew the answer to almost every question posed to me because I recalled reading it somewhere. After the grueling, nerve wrecking 2 hours of quizzing, I smsed my mom. “Business Quiz. Oral. Just got over. Topped it. I think you might wanna come and watch this.”

With 75 points I was on a 20 point lead from the dude who was 2nd. The next round was extempore. Finally, my forte. They announced the final 5. I was in it. X was not. She cried. I felt like a bitch.

I agreed to speak first. I wouldn’t call it my best speech. Clearly not. My standards are way too high when it comes to public speaking. But as I stood there, feeling good, and feeling terrible all at the same time, I guess I was okay.

As I returned to my seat I saw my mother and brother walk into the hall. I had not even told them that much about Tycoon. They looked perplexed. I snuck up to them and in a whisper explained to them all that I just explained to you. Mom went “Why didn’t u tell us it was this important”? Well wasn’t it obvious? The expectations, pressure, unnecessary crap. Anyway, I was asked to return to my seat and I left them.

After a while, the judges huddled together and read out the city champions names. The girl who topped the prelims in Kerala with 399/400, a final year geeky nice guy from SCT and me. Lights, camera, confetti. Big moment. Brother capturing it with a wide smile and mom beaming. I said some stuff and thanked X. I knew how badly she wanted it. She began sobbing. As I hugged her, I felt like a bitch all over again.

Next up, regionals. The day before we left, the organizer whom I began calling coach took the 3 of us to our swanky hotel rooms. We were to stay the night there. At night our family and friends were invited to the hotel and we had an amazing dinner. Friends came upto our rooms and did everything from raiding the fridge of its beers, jumping on the mattresses and even stealing bubble bath bottles! After they left we were briefed on what was to happen and told not to stay up too late as the flight to our venue, Bangalore, was in the wee hours of the morning.

Regionals. Bangalore. I have never in my life seen such an amazing pool of talent in one place, and never before had I felt SO much like a kid. There I was, 18 and a first year college student among people who were 23-24-25. Soon the final year engineering guys from the Cochin team, who we mostly hung out with, christened me “Kochu Kochu”. We went out for dinner that night and they went to extent of asking the waiter if they served mocktails on baby feeding bottles.

Although I did not make it to the nationals, the multiple GD’s, debates, extempore’s & group activities were infotaining as hell! The guy who won the regionals from our group was a 25 yr old who was already giving guest lectures in IIM’s. Brilliant guy. The kerala prelims topper, the only other girl in our group, and a lovely person also made it.

Hanging around in a strange city till the wee hours of the morning with strange people you just met is actually a lot of fun and far from creepy. Getting a fake tattoo of a sexy devil, calling up your parents and telling them you got one for real and freaking them out is pure fun! Going on an all expenses paid trip (including shopping for family, mind you, was paid for!), is always welcome.

Fret not mortals-for I have arrived! (18)

2009-03-03T22:27:00.004+05:30

I have to do this before I become an adult. Its one of those things that will look cute when your a 'kid' and retarded if your 'grown up'. So I gotta put this up!

If I were a super-hero, (apparently) I'd look like this!! *sheepish grin*

I bet your dying to know what you'd look like. Like I said, Fret not. I have solutions. For everything. Go on now, check out your alter ego here!

Grrr (17)

2009-03-03T01:37:00.003+05:30

The world seems to be a much angrier place these days. There is so much hatred, deceit and violence enveloping our lives.

You hardly ever find a completely laid back, easy going person these days. Life is not slow anymore. Even for a farmer in the south, life has accumulated pace, he cannot afford to sit down and enjoy the beauty of his land or watch his crops grow. If a person is not up and about, doing something, trying to get somewhere, he is either doped or a major shmuck.

Is it coz we lead such busy, my-life-is-more-important-than-yours, sort of lives that we forget things like patience and endurance exists?

I’m not talking about the angry terrorists who’s purpose in life is to suck out every ounce of positivity left on this planet. Im talking about the Aam Aadmi, R K Narayan’s Common Man.

Whether its in a grocery store or a elevator or out in the streets, people don’t seem to have the ‘time’ to be patient or good to another human being. From the books I read, and the talks I’ve had with my many older-wiser-buddies, things were completely different back in their days.

A family friend of ours who’d gone to the US to work, after putting their 3 children in a hostel had to return in a year because the children made threats to “kill themselves” if the parents didn’t get back and get them out of the hostel. I’m sure the parents of yester years would not have had to deal with such threats. So, where did the kids acquire this mind set from?

I understand that it really is the survival of the fittest out there and the pressure is definitely taking its toll on everyone. According to a study, the percentage of violence in schools and colleges have gone up by at least 50% in the last 10 years alone!

We live in a time where you cannot get into a bus or train or go to a park and be sure to come back alive. I don’t think things have ever been this horrifying. There is fear in the air and its like we’ve got stop watches attached to our backs.

I don’t miss the laid back years so much, but a constant tick tick tick is sure as hell disturbing.

Efforts wasted, Ego hurt. (16)

2009-03-02T18:24:00.009+05:30

Sometimes trying to cover up what you did by placing your self-esteem on the line is just not worth the effort.

This one time mom’s co-worker came home with her baby boy and it was understood that I was to do the babysitting while they caught up on office talk.

Since the kid is too lil’ to read to or play any sensible game with I pick him up, walk around. But then the kid is heavier than I would’ve liked him to be, which meant I had to put him down once in a while. He wouldn’t sit on the play rug on the floor or on the couch. There was this divan attached to the wall and that was the only place he’d sit.

So I walk to the divan, and just as I put him down, his lil’ head flies backwards and WHAM he hits his head on the wall. His face begins to curl, all set for the big wail, when 15-yr old desperate me rubs his head fiercely and when that didn’t work I did something I never thought I’d do. I danced. Not in the traditional form of the word, of course. I was shoving my hands and legs in all directions, wobbling my head about making funny faces. His sad face turns confused, he looks at me for a while and then finally smiles. (I love how quickly they get distracted!) Anyway, I keep at it for a lil’ while longer till the smile turned into outright laughter.

But he gets restless again, so we’re back on our feet walking about. And soon, attempt number two at making him sit. This time I’m real careful. I put his lil’ body down very slowly and held his head. It was fine. I let out a sigh and took a step back, when WHAM. His head fell back and the chubby face curls up. Wasting no time, I did the hands and legs shoving bit again, this time accompanied by lil’ whirls and gimmicks and even funny noises. And just as any other normal human being would have, the lil guy laughed his lil’ ass off.

Believe it or not, it happened the third time too. I have NO freakin idea why or how but although I was super-duper careful this time, and even placed his lil’ head against the wall. He came up front and went right back again and thereby creating the WHAM effect. I need not tell you what I began doing. Im sure you can imagine.

Just as I began adding new bits to my embarrassing lil dance, his mom walks in and picks him up. I stop at once and pretend like nothing happened and start fiddling with something, when I hear the lady cooing to her kid “my poor baby’s been hitting his head all day hasn’t he??”. And then, as if he was answering her question, he begins to howl.

I was mortified. All that dancing (Yea, I said dance alright! I’m sure it would pass for some weird form of dance!) was of no use whatsoever. I should’ve clung to my dignity and just let the lil fat traitor cry.

Mush Kush (15)

2009-02-28T16:27:00.006+05:30

This is purely a work of fiction. Enjoy! ;)

I love the way he looks at me, from inches away or across the room,
it always makes my heart skip a beat.

I love how he puts everything else on hold when I call
And his busy overworked voice suddenly relaxes with “so tell me..”

I love getting him books, and marking lines I think he’d like,
And more so when he gets excited by something I marked.

I love it when he insists on me listening to a new song he just found
And how he takes listening to my suggestions seriously.

I love ruffling his hair and momentarily feeling like the older one,
I love him more when he smiles broadly and says “do it again”

I love how we can sit in the same room for hours and be engrossed in our work,
I love it when he leaves his books & comes over just to give me a peck on the head.

I love lying down on his lap and how he runs his hands through my hair,
I love how I almost always fall asleep.

I love waking up to his miss calls, I love going to sleep giving him one,
And I love all the messages in between.

I love our late night talks, especially the ones where I make him sing,
I love the Richard Marx songs, and he knows it so well.

I love the lil’ jigs he does, knowing full well I’m laughing at him
I love it more when he scoops me up saying “and that’s one thing I thought I’ll never do”

I love how he’s always the first to make up after a fight,
Although almost always he’s the one who started it.

I love it when he explains things I know nothing about,
I love how serious his face gets when he does it.

I love watching him play, cheering like crazy, I know that he’s glad I’m there,
I love hugging the super sweaty him after the game, although I pretend I don’t.

I love when he passes me a tissue and wraps his arms around me,
without saying a word when I’m on a crying spree, watching a sappy movie.

I love snuggling into his big shoulders,
I love it more when he picks me off the floor.

Although I miss all the things I love about him, a lot more I don’t miss.
But while it lasted, I loved like never before.

Commitment (14)

2009-02-27T22:20:00.002+05:30

'Commitment phobic' - One of many words that can be used to describe me.

Two things made me wanna do some thinking.

One:

Chick Flick Wisdom: 'Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game'

Two:

'To do or not to do', this my friends, is the real question (13)

2009-02-27T14:55:00.004+05:30

A likes B. B likes A. A & B sleep together. Later, B meets C. B is smitten by C, and thus leaves A. C takes B for a ride and gets B into bed. Heart broken B finds comfort with D. D loves B. For real. And swears never to hurt B. They make love. That’s when B finds out that, A, is still pining for her. She is confused. Finally she realizes A is the love of her life, and leaves D.

Our parents could never imagine this happening to them in their youth. It was out of the question. A generation later, we treat the above sequence with so much normalcy that its almost scary.

A lot of my friends are not virgins and have no hassles flaunting the fact. The rest of them admit that they are just waiting for the right time or for some, the right person.

I can understand if a couple that have been dating for years and plan to live a life together make love. There is a certain commitment in such relationships that makes it meaningful. But I just cannot figure out how people can so casually sleep with others when they are fully aware that their relationship has no future or the guy/girl is not worth giving your future to.

This thought pattern does not strike me when I watch Friends or Sex & The City where certain characters have confessed to having close to a 100 sexual partners! That’s their way of life. That’s how their parents did it and the ones before them too. Its not alien or foreign for them. For them perhaps what’s alien and foreign and what’ll win you a straight ticket to looser-dom is being a virgin at 25 or so.

But that’s not the deal with us. Our parents and g’parents don’t even involve themselves in public displays of affection. You never see Indian parents smooch or make out! So how can a generation, a whole generation just so casually imbibe such a custom?

Is it the ‘cool’ factor? Is it coz you honestly believe that it’s no big deal? Or do you just go with the flow, coz that’s what everyone seems to be doing?

My question is ‘Why’? Like Celine says in Before Sunrise “Life is already so complicated, no?!”

Sensationalize - all the world’s a stage anyway!(12)

2009-02-23T23:34:00.005+05:30

I didn’t feel that strongly about how irresponsible the irresponsible media was. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And last week saw one such - ‘desperate’ day.

Act 1, Scene 1 :

I’m having lunch, watching TV. Flipping through channels mostly. And almost all of them packed with expensive sponsor’s almost-movie-like ads. Except for one. A reporter is seriously reading out the news. So I turn the volume up and listen.

Scene 2:

The report begins. A reporters voice booms “And thus the world comes to a standstill”. At this point I’m thinking, what? another 9/11 or 26/11..what now?! And then the voice continues “Sallu’s dog passes away”.

Scene 3:
My jaw drops.

I am not exaggerating but the F****D up report was about how Salman Khan was ‘dealing’ with his dogs demise!!!

See what I’m talking about ?? desperate times!! The whole world is going through one helluva slump and THIS makes it to the news??!

Lemme not even start with Bharka Dutt’s tears each time someone mentions 26/11. She has such an impressive track record, she’s treated like the Christiane Amanpour of India but she gets so sappy so damn often, its like watching a chick flick play out live and that’s just dreadful (even for me!!)

Another fact that continues to perplex me: weren’t journalists supposed to be intermediaries b/w their subjects (government, corporations whoever) and us by laying down facts as they were, so that ‘we’ could make up our minds on what to believe or what stand to take? But now it seems like each channel has its own perspective on things and we are made to just suck it all in and share the view.

I hate it when they ask grieving family members “how do you feel about your loved ones death?”. I hate it when prime time TV moments are spent wishing celebrities luck after surgeries they underwent. I hate how they talked about IPL all day when the market’s were on an all time low and millions were loosing their jobs. I hate how intelligent people do things that they just cant (Prannoy Roy interviewing Russell peters made me wanna jump out of a balcony that I didn’t even have). I hate it when channels invite guests to go on air and when a disagreement sparks, instead of being diplomatic or subtly edgy or even roping in some pun or sarcasm, the reporters shout their heads off at their guests. I hate it when some of them (Rajdeep Sardesai leads this team) talk perpetually on a high-pitched tone (when will they learn to be Sauvé and calm like their western counterparts?).

Someone once asked me, if I could kill someone who’d it be? I answered that there was this particular anchor in headlines today who I’d love to strangulate or smother, better still- shoot her brains out. Now fyi, there are two more to that list, ironically from the same channel.

This amazing (controversial) documentary I saw recently called ‘Zeitgeist’ mentioned how the US public school systems were purposefully made dysfunctional, coz some ‘factors’ wanted to make sure that they brought up an entire unintelligent generation that would not have the brains to question them or fully understand their evil motives.

Somehow I feel a sense of similarity here. Instead of educating, making-aware, the media’s managed to turn news reporting into a joke. I’m not holding them responsible for the clueless youth (read post 9) but I’m definitely condemning them for the part they play in it.

How I met the drink (11)

2009-02-19T23:11:00.005+05:30

We went to his dorm and helped him settle down. Actually my folks did. I just sat on his cot with him and held his arm. This was to be his home for the next year. Soon, it was time to leave. Hugs, hair ruffles, inspirational words followed. I didn’t budge. Then everyone looked at me. Finally I got up and stared into his eyes. His eyes almost screamed, don’t leave me in this hell hole! We could always read each others eyes. It’s a practice we perfected ever since we began covering up for each other as kids. There he was, my older brother- the only person who could ‘read my eyes’ giving me the puppy dog look. The puppy dog look was always my thing. But right then, It was totally his. I walked out of his dorm without saying a word.

We got back to our room and I headed for a cold wash. When I got out dad had just opened his bottle of Kf. I sat opposite him and told him I needed to try it. He poured me a generous glass. I gulped it down. They stared at me and then finally dad said, ‘maybe you should finish the bottle’. I did.

And thus I had had my first alcoholic-drink. Introducing us to alcohol is one of the smartest things my folks ever did. Not only did it diminish its allure, it actually makes you the responsible one among your alcohol-deprived peers (I make sure girls don’t do crazy things that crazy girls do when they’re drunk). I’ve gotten smashed a couple of times after, always in the vicinity of my family of course. Even with all this said, I’m quite the source of entertainment when I’m tipsy. Some of the things I’ve done have become family tales which I’m sure even my kids will be made to listen to.

PS: The dramatic piece about my brother being dumped in a hell hole is actually PC Thomas's Coaching centre. Although he spent half his time home after that visit, he accounts his current medical studies to the place.

Mysteries of the unexplained? (10)

2009-02-19T22:43:00.004+05:30

I got my first cell phone after my tenth standard. The small cute thing was on a post paid connection. My folks prolly thought, how much calling could our daughter possibly do? Classic mistake number _ in parenting. I freaked the hell outta them with the phone bills. They tried giving me some meaningful talk about being responsible, they were at it for a year before they realized that it was of no use whatsoever. Prepaid connections and me sucked from day 1. Chatty me cut down on the calls and got addicted to texting.

I remember overhearing mom tell dad, ‘this girl spends so much time on her phone when she’s in school imagine what its going to be like when she’s in college’. Dad held her hand and nodded his head solemnly. I was yet again the subject of a bonding ritual.

Same fact applies to movies. Me and a couple of friends used to go for a movie almost every week in the last 2 years of school. We went for one the day before our 12th boards, and thereby officially pissing off our usually calm parents.

At that point the parents would've talked among themselves, saying something like ‘these kids go for so many movies already, imagine what they’ll be like once they pass out of school’.

They’re all so bloody wrong. I watch movies alright. But only the good ones. I have lost the ability of being able to sit through a horrible movie and laugh at it.

These days, my mobile phone is more like an accessory. The number of sms’s are under 250 a month(thanks to a pricey network!). Calls are rare. So rare, a friend fell off his chair when I called him. No kidding, I heard his bony ass creak as it hit the floor.

(9)

2009-02-19T22:22:00.007+05:30

Strange & funny things happen when you least expect them to.

I met a very interesting person recently. She was a friends friend and promised me a ride home. We got talking and her general knowledge appalled me. She didn’t know who the president of India was. Cant really blame her on that one, what’s there to remember?

But to make matters worse, she answered the damn question with ‘Achuthanathan’, I asked her, so “He’s the president of India?” and she replied, ”Well I’m not sure about that, but he is the Chief Minister of India!”.

Then I ask her, “So who’s the prime minister?” Without skipping a beat she replied, ‘Karunakaran’. By this point, I’m obviously having a good time.

I continued, “Which country is Sonia Gandhi originally from?” She looked at me with a straight face. And then she laughed out loud. I waited for her to finish, and then she quips, I know that’s a trick question!!! She wouldn’t believe me when I tried telling her that Sonia Gandhi was from Italy. She laughed all the way home giving me the ‘You think I’m an idiot, you idiot?’ look. You should’ve seen my face. Priceless.

(8)

2009-02-19T21:06:00.003+05:30

Hums…*I cant do this all on my own…oh I know, Im no superman*

Hey you guys! Here’re random facts of life which will never be useful, but might just entertain you for as long as your eyes are on this post [wacky mood courtesy: Go figure!]

•Awesome movies you’ve been waiting to watch, come out weeks before your big exam.

•You don’t get your study tempo, unless someone/something really really freaks you out.

•You feel exceptionally guilty for not acquiring a tempo, although not guilty enough to build one.

•You say what the heck and go for the movie, lunch post movie and sleep post lunch, knowing full well you’ll regret it later.

•You come online, to check out the much talked about FT article but end up creating a south park avatar.

•You laugh at your mom when she suggests you wear a conical party hat on your birthday, when you yourself cant imagine a party without one.

•You discover more choices for your masters, when you began thinking that you’ve finally narrowed down your options.

•You don’t need a boyfriend to have fun on Valentines Day. A jobless, cynical, amusing, lighthouse-crazy friend will do. :))

•Although only a year apart people take you more seriously when you say your 20. 19 has ‘I’m still a kid’ ring to it? I wonder.

•Don’t try and give love advice to your brother’s girlfriend, she tells you stuff about your brother, you really don’t wanna know.

Me-now

2009-02-15T20:50:00.003+05:30

I think Im suffering from what they call the writers block. Its too early to be sure though. I've got 20 days and 13 posts to go. I wonder if I can pull this off.

Surviving V-Day (7)

2009-02-13T12:11:00.004+05:30

It is that month of the year where everything around you is either pink or red. People start discussing frantically about the most romantic gift to get.You cant even call any of your girlfriends. The ones in a relationship talk only about plans on valentines day and all the single ones do, is bitch about the ones who have plans. Its a time when even the macho hunky dory men go coochie coo. It is just sad.

Every news channel, newspaper has special issues on ‘how to make your valentines day special’. Yesterday my 66 year old g’mom brought me a supplement and said “see kutta, this paper has so many suggestions about what you can buy for valentines and from where”. Poor woman has no idea about my non-existent love life. I smiled, nodded and said nothing at all. Even someone like her, who perhaps never celebrated this day, and finds absolutely no meaning in it, is in the pink-spirit.

I typed “valentines day plans” on google, lo and behold thousands of pages with ideas for people in love. And the rest of us? Well we can always do the following to live through the pink month.

• Watch action, horror or better still-gore movies!
• Eat and watch Real Estate TV or some religious TV coz they’re the only channels that will not be observing the pink month.
• Cheer the crazy ram sena as they waste resources on indianizing the westernized youth (yeah right!)
• Switch off phone(s)
• Going out with single friends is an option, but you’ll feel miserable when you see other couples.
• Stay at home and study. At least you’ll feel like your doing something of great importance, unlike the other loosers.

You could console yourself saying, hey maybe this is my last V-day alone, might as well enjoy it. Or you could also reconnect with your commitment phobic side and take delight in the fact that your not hitched, unlike some other poor souls who are.

Just to make things clear, I am not against celebrating love on this particular day, I am the most romantic person I know! :P This picture explains my plight oh-so-accurately.

And then there was light! (6)

2009-02-11T20:21:00.002+05:30

Shit Happens. It always does. It is one of those things in life that isn’t partial or biased. Shit happens to everyone. If at all there are those of you who pride yourselves saying, ‘nothing bad has happened to me- ha!’, fret not. It will. Soon.

Although all of us get weighed down by incessant crap that just keeps on coming, in various forms of course, the real strength of a person lies in how he deals with it.

Some succumb to the pressure and jump off a balcony or something. Easy as it is, its clearly not the wisest course of action. Some others crib, cry, wail and eventually go nuts. That isn’t too impressive either. There are however, some people who take it head on and come out of it pretty easy. At least they make it look easy! Such people, you may think are expert crap-takers. Not only do they handle the lousy situation with class, they might even learn a thing or two from it.

Since this whole 20-article exercise is about me, and me alone, I’ve decided to examine only ‘my’ crap-taking abilities. **(I feel like creating one of those tickle-test-thingy’s . How good a crap taker are u ? lol.. )**

Anyway, Im not going to go into the intricate details of how my brain functions (this is why) and I am definitely not going to state various difficult times and write a para on how I successfully handled each one of them. I will simply tell you ‘one of the things’ that helps me get by.

I have received a substantial amount of my worldly knowledge from some sensible and a LOT of senseless chick flicks, this one’s no different.

The movie: My best friends wedding.
The scene: When Julia sits outside his room and talks to the waiter.
The line: “My grandmother always said ‘This too shall pass’”

I later read a Theodore Tilton poem, which says the same thing. I had it stuck on my wall till the painters took it down! X-( You can check it out here .

So how do I deal with crap? Motto 1 : This will definitely pass. Sit tight & let it.

Fact of the matter is, shit happens. Suns set. Night falls. But how ever crappy crap gets, it is bound to end. The dawn will arrive. It just has to.

Cant get enough of.. (5)

2009-02-11T15:34:00.002+05:30

Of the many lil’ things I love, here’re 20.

1.A Good Book – the wonderful feeling after a terrific read
2.My mom’s carrot halwa (only hers; no one else’s)
3.The smell of nail polish/paint
4.Pottery – I love the ‘getting messy’ bit
5.Long drives with slow music – romantic!
6.Long drives with kick ass music and singing loudly – even more romantic!
7.Intelligent conversations
8.Beaches, in the evenings
9.The smell of the earth after a rain
10.Holding a baby, while it sleeps
11.People introducing me to (good) movies & music
12.The first wave of ooziness, while drinking
13.Wordplay’s with sensible people
14.Walking barefoot on grass, early morning
15.The smell of the sun on freshly dried clothes
16.Massages (neck, feet, back anything!)
17.Blowing bubbles – I still get excited!
18.Fresh Lime Soda with salt (uppu-naranga-soda!) on a terribly hot day.
19.White roses, Orange gerberas.
20.Watching fireworks (not crackers)

First Impression(4)

2009-02-11T13:19:00.005+05:30

Although somethings may look silly and juvenile at first, they might actually turn out to be quite fun. You wouldn't realize it until you try it out yourself. This has happened to me quite often , I expect to have a horrible time and I wait to get it over with, but they turn out to be quite an experience. So these days, I keep an open mind while trying new things out. Same philosophy applies to people too you know, I've learnt not to pre-judge people, ego maniacal/boring/short tempered/wacky people I thought I would never associate myself with, have turned out to be good friends.

Here's a lame example of trying-out-something-that-looks-lame-but-is-in-reality-fun. (whew!)

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Its amazing

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The Reason

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Closer

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
My Generation

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Home

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Unfaithful [hahaha]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
Looking at the world from the bottom of a well

WHAT IS 2+2?
Money bought

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS?
Satisfaction

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Love will keep us alive

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP??
Over my head

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE??
Dilemma

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Blood on the dance floor

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Fundamental

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Cant help falling in love [damn, one too late!]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Karukara [lol]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Your body is a wonderland [my body?! Lol]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I stand alone

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
When Im gone

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Stupify [What, a harry potter charm?]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The way I are

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Secret Graden

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Banana pancakes

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Pehli Nazar Mein

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Your beautiful [ha-ha]

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
We are okay

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Apologize [wow!]

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
What If

WHAT WILL YOU TITLE THIS POST?
Easier to Lie [perfect!]

PS: This is supposedly another form of being tagged. And thanks Shikha! I tag music-crazy, brand new blogger Anand VE. If he is alive.

Lazy (3)

2009-02-07T16:10:00.000+05:30

When your lazy. Just be.

Depression (2)

2009-02-07T16:07:00.001+05:30

You make plans. You make self-help rules.
You do not stick to the plan and you break the rules.
Everything seems to be going the wrong way.

Things you wish didn’t happen, happen.
People you wish u never came across, u meet.
Things you wish you didn’t say, u say.

You cant do things that make you feel good. You feel lazy. Sleep suffers. You sleep alright, many hours at that. But you awake from the sleep, feeling lethargic and sluggish.

The word perky cannot be used to describe you.

People say things you wish they didn’t.
Things that made sense till now-don’t.

Your so lazy, you don’t even want to think.

Sound familiar?

Such ominous periods in life when loneliness is the worst thing that could happen to you, remember there is always something out there that will save you from this misery. Try everything. Soothing loud music, sleep, going on a cleaning spree, cold late night showers, hot chocolate, reading, thinking, staying away from mushy movies, anything.

I usually find the wackiest of things save me from such periods, this once i took Julie Andrew's words a lil' too seriously and noted down a few of my favorite things and life didn't seem half bad, these days for me its Joshua Radin. He helped me come out of a lousy gloomy day once before and during the perky days thereafter, I hardly played him. Gloom hits me and he saved me again. There’s something so soothing about his voice and music that makes me not wanna to be sad anymore.[current favo: vegetable car]

So if your stuck in muck, you know what to try next.

Trust (1)

2009-02-06T21:16:00.003+05:30

I’m going on a lil’ experiment here, its primary aim is to get me to post more frequently and the other is just imparting worldly knowledge, after all I’ve been around long enough ;)

If you didn’t know already, my birthdays coming up soon and if you’ve read my previous post, you’ll know that I’m turning 20. If u didn’t –well at least now u do!

I’ve decided that starting today I’d post 20 things I’ve learnt/observed/felt. I’ve given myself time till the eve of my birthday. This will make sure that I make 20 posts in almost a month and meaningful ones at that.

Pretty cool huh? I know!

So here’s the first one.

The phrase “my life is an open book” certainly does not apply to me. People around me crib and cry and wail about the troubles in their lives, how their parents don’t understand them, don’t love them enough, boyfriends not expressive enough..u know the usual. Although I sit and patiently hear them out, I never participate in them, I know that women worldwide let steam off by talking to each other. Its like this secret sisterhood. Women can strike a convo in a train or in a bus station or in a supermarket at the end of which they’re telling each other problems which many would consider ‘personal’.

No kidding. I was sitting outside on the steps of this library waiting for them to open up after lunch, when this chechie who was waiting around got a call. It sounded like trouble in college. After she ended the call she looked at me, so I looked up from my book and smiled politely.(No, of course I wasn’t reading, I was only pretending to) Anyway, she takes that as a sign and sits down next to me and begins with “That was my friend from college”. The time was 2.40. When the clock struck 3 and the not-so-friendly uncle opened the library doors I knew quite a LOT about her. How she and her friends cheated in an exam. How they got caught. They might/might not loose all their internal marks for which they had worked very hard for. How the HOD would call their parents and how her parents, especially her dad would completely loose it. See where Im going with this?!

Point of the matter however, is you really shouldn’t trust too many people. According to me when you near your death bed, if you can honestly say that you had ‘two’ true friends your whole life, you should consider yourself lucky. The ones for who the true friend becomes a soul mate-are exceptionally lucky.

For the rest of us- bummers, we really should keep our guards up. Enjoy everyone else who comes your way, learn things from them, teach them a thing or two, share jokes, stories and have them around, and after years, remember them with a random call or e-mail. But don’t let them into your fortress, reserve that for the crème-de-la-crème. Not everyone needs to know how your heart/head functions.

Many of you might disagree, strongly. But this is lesson number 1. Take it or leave it.

And thus another year passes me by..

2008-12-31T23:08:00.003+05:30

This is my last post in 2008. In approx 45 minutes the world will welcome the new year and I shall be fast asleep (hopefully!)

My initial plan for new years eve that got washed out anyway thanks to exams no one cares about, was to get sloshed with a friend of mine. Right here at home. Everything was set. The date the drink. But then practicality got the better of me. Figured if we drunk girls did something crazy, utterly crazy, like we most likely would’ve, my grandmother who I live with, who thinks the world of me, and who does not think the world of my friends, will loose it. Completely. So then we decided to have a nice low-key pajama party. But the person (traitor!) who was supposed to come over wanted to ‘study’ (which she never did-coz she’s online yapping to someone special as im typing this post!:P). So then it was supposed to be me in my PJ’s watching times square with my new year cone hat and a whistle (the ones that went pee pee!) But then after my exam today I was so hungry and lazy that I came back home and forgot all about getting my new year party accessories :P. So now all I have left according to my plan are my PJ’s. And that is just sad. So I’ve decided to sleep.

Not before recounting my favorite new years eve and the most memorable.

I was around 8 or so and some family friends whisked me away from home to one of their flashy parties. Everyone was dancing and drinking, I felt so lost. I remember sitting down with grape juice and watching people as they danced. Then a guy, who was playing the music for the show (a DJ maybe), walked upto me and knelt down so that his eyes met mine on the same level. He looked completely unlike the rest, he should’ve been in his late twenties, with long hair tied in a pony tail and a very warm look in his eyes. He asked me if I would dance with him. I remember saying I didn’t know how. He smiled his warm smile, walked back to where he came from, played the song “Cecilia” By Simon and Garfunkel (To this day, I think of him every time I hear ‘Cecilia your breaking my heart’…!)and walked back to me, held my hand, guided me to the middle of the dance floor and we danced. Well he did. I was looking down, terrified if his great big feet would step on mine. But they never did.

The millennium was much awaited for, everybody was making a huge fuss about it. The world at large. We had a bonfire party at home, all I remember is eating a LOT of watermelon that evening and later drinking a LOT of coke. I also remember I was super excited about the countdown and was jumping around screaming 10..9…and then I remember running indoors to the restroom, clutching my party hat (yes! I always have a party hat!) like a crazy person, and puking my guts out. And in between all the retching I remember hearing 2…1 Happy New year!!! I also remember groaning and feeling miserable about it for a long long while.

But this year, my last new year's eve as a teenager, I am alone. And somehow I dont feel sad or miserable about it like I thought I would. I feel fine. And I've decided not to crib about turning 20 like I have been doing lately. Somethings happen-you just cant do anything about it. Although I can cry and wail "why god?! whyy??!!" like Joey did in friends, but that's really not my thing :P!

So anyway, Happy New Year everyone! :)

Love at first sight! :)

2008-12-31T21:20:00.004+05:30

Deciding to write the law exam was a last minute decision. So last minute that I had 25 chapters and a handful of hours. As I was trying to cram in as many case studies as possible, my brother, who’s gone to spend new years at home calls me. This is how the convo began and ended.

Vishnu: Hey..wot’re u doing?

Me: Law.

Vishnu: Can you go out for an hour or two?

Me: Are you kidding me?!

Vishnu: No. Can you?

Me: NO!! I have no freakin idea wtf im gonna do Vishnu!! There’s so much to go through. Why did I decide to write this exam again?

A lotta breathless sentences followed. He waited for me to stop. I did. He spoke. And I replied - “Gimme 5 minutes. Lemme put on a jean. Im out.”

My folks are huge dog lovers and growing up we’ve always had a dog, but ever since our last one passed away tragically, we didn’t feel the need for a dog.

Off late we’ve been asking around, calls made to B’lore, to Mangalore, to Chennai but we never found the ‘right’ dog.

His call was to tell me there was a puppy in Trivandrum. If we liked it we could have it, but we had to decide immediately.

So the task of seeing if it was our kinda dog fell squarely on me. I was psyched when I was told it’s a golden retriever. But as I got close to the breeders house I had butterflies in my tummy. How the hell could I tell if it was the right dog??!

Anyway I walk into their compound and the guy I had talked to over the phone brings 2 puppies. One in each hand. A boy and a girl. Now its choosing time.

I picked up the boy first and held him up like a baby and it had the sweetest eyes I’d ever seen. A lil’ coochi cooing later I put him down and picked up the girl. The minute I held her in front of my face, she came forward and licked my nose! A lotta ‘snouting’ happened thereafter. I know a lotta ppl get eeked out by dogs n licks but she was soo adorable. She was a ball of energy, she kept chasing the boy puppy and bullying him and then she kept running back to me, chewing on my fingers and trying to jump onto my lap. She’s prolly the first girl I hit it off with in the very first meet.

So I hang around for a while, take a whole buncha pictures of her. Rush home and e-mail them to my family. I then try very hard and get back to my books. Fewer hours and the same amount of chapters.

Next Morning:

I’m at the kitchen table having breakfast trying to calm myself down with some awesome music when mom calls. “Guess who I’m cuddling” she says. They had arranged for the pup to be transported at night and there she was.

I talk to mom, dad and Vishnu one after the other, all of them sounded so excited and happy. She was running around in the lawn and I could hear laughter and oooh’s and aaah’s. I was glad they loved her. I had done well with the choosing bit. Phew!

I get back after the exam (which went really well btw as I studied 3 essays out of around 15 and only the ones I studied was asked! I love being lucky! :P) Anyhoo, I call up home and the puppy has been given her first bath and Vishnu even found her a name- Theia (Tia), it stands for goddess divine in Greek. Of all the New Year gifts I’ve received so far, Tia tops the charts!

What a lovely way to begin a new year, having a furry, warm, cuddly thing enter your family circle.I hear she’s cozying upto dad and mom big-time and they just wont stop smiling. I had to let the world know that I finally finally have a beautiful pup to spoil !! Woohoo!

My thought pattern these days...

2008-12-29T12:24:00.002+05:30

Random thoughts-2

2008-12-12T23:18:00.005+05:30

I just realized that I've really not mentioned anything about my college in any of my posts . That is prolly coz I hardly ever go.. Anyway some interesting observations follow..

The best part of college is dodging the HOD and lying down on one of the cement benches that is enveloped in shade by grand old trees and looking at planes landing and planes taking off, feeling the vibration on the bench each time a train passes by and hoping that a crow does not poop on you.

Standing in the canteen waiting for someone to get you something, makes you think of refugees who wait in line for food and the poor who live on food stamps. You stand there bitching about the college and the management but then forget it all when you are served the magic bread bondas..The cycle continues the next time u enter the canteen.

Now that Im talking about the canteen, the old woman who often single handedly manages it needs to be mentioned. That lady is so slow and so damn old u might just think we have a zombie serving us. The thing about her is that you might wait for 15 minutes to half an hour for her to crawl her way to you and when she finally does and you say- choco bar or appy fizz, she throws you one of her horrible looks, shakes her head and then snaps, "I wont give u that" or she just picks up her mobile phone (yup! she has one too!) and walks away, just like that..only to return after a while to a bunch of really pissed off (hungry) girls, to carry on as if nothing had happened. The funny part however, is when someone breaks a bottle or a plate, she sprints to action, and reaches the 'site' in a matter of seconds and baffles us all with her energy, shouting of course at some poor chick. And the minute the show's over and there is nothing left to say or do, she will inch away.

Then of course there’s the route number 1 bus driver(that kiss ass!!) , whose voice sounds a lot like a cat being strangulated. You cant call it voice really, its more like gusts of air accompanied by lil' squeaks... Story goes that he was in some war and he got shot in the neck, but then I learnt much later, that the story was framed by someone in the English Dept..

I used to love law. Had ideas of pursuing law(I sometimes still flirt with the idea) . But its amazing how much hate one person can make you feel toward something u actually like. lemme make something clear here, the law maam is really a nice lady. Among all the horrible, vicious ones, she’s a gem. The fact of the matter, however, is that the lady cannot teach for nuts! But she has taught me several things for which I will be eternally grateful. Pretending to listen intently with timely nods and acknowledgements and sometimes repeating the last word she said, all the while day dreaming or better still, tuning out completely. Playing rock, paper, scissors and bingo and learning to enjoy victory silently although I would wanna do a lil' victory jig or maybe punch my fists in the air...And it is in these hours that I come up with lil' poems and the not so little ones and scribble away to glory. I also mastered the art of coming up with real original bullshit, each time I got caught yap yapping..priceless lessons, I know.

One of the funniest talks we've had in college(and we have so many of them) was given by this man who began with the story of 2 frogs (the packed auditorium began unpacking the minute he uttered those words), he went on to talk about a whole range of things, and when there was just around 30 of us left to hear him out(a lil' out of pity, and a lot out of the need to escape 2 hours of stat), his PowerPoint slide show read out ‘sex’ and at that point I knew that sitting around listening to all this crap was finally gonna pay off...but then he proceeded to talk to us about the effects of puberty!! puberty to a bunch of 20 yr olds!! are u kidding me??!

Hmm...all this reminiscing has got me thinking of a lotta stuff I really should write about. But then, maybe I should wait for a year, pass out and then do it. Yes, a lotta shit happens behind those gates people, and I shall expose it all! muahaha!...Man I am too bored to be doing this. And waay too sleepy. More random thoughts...much much later.

Till then, peace.

As if we didn’t have enough trouble already!

2008-12-01T22:41:00.001+05:30

Hooded men flooded the city,
with arms and ammunition they marched
Their beliefs intact, minds raging,
with a sense of purpose they attacked.

Bombay-the city of opportunities, the abode of the stars,
lost its charm and came to a halt
Streets were empty, shops were shut,
people locked indoors like cash in a vault.

The death toll rose, the rich, the poor, the young, the old,
no one spared, the terrorists shot on
India unleashed its best and thus the battle began,
70 hours and 100's of deaths later, the question dawns-really, what’s going on?!

The words of a journalist echoes in my mind,
if 20 men could freeze Bombay, would 100 freeze the country?
Are our security systems that sad, I wonder
that heavily armed men can waltz in and begin a killing spree?

They dodged the coast guards, the cops and the intelligence,
proved that even the rich and the mighty are not safe
What do we do now? Stay resilient and move on?
or learn a thing or two and not dig our own graves?

Stay patient during police checks, grow more alert,
dont skip your taxes and demand better security
With poverty and unemployment plaguing us,
terrorism, surely cannot be our first priority.

Confusing times lay ahead of us, we need strong leaders,
tough decision makers and united citizens,
Are we up to it? I do not know,
Will anything change? I sure hope so.

Credit Crunch Jokes!

2008-10-27T12:13:00.005+05:30

Hey you guys...I know that many of you are either directly or indirectly affected by the global financial turmoil and although I sympathize with you, when I came across some real good stuff, I couldnt help but put it up here.

1. With the current market turmoil, the easiest way to make a small fortune IS TO Start off with a large one.

2. The difference between an investment banker and a large pizza IS THAT A large pizza can still feed a family of four.

3. I went to the ATM this morning and it said “insufficient funds”. I’m STILL wondering it meant the bank or me.

4. Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker’s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!”

5.The difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons is THAT The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.

6.Quote of the day “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”

7. There’s a ‘buy one, get one free’ offer - on banks.

8. The IRS is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.

9. I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender

10. George Bush on Credit Crunch - “Its my favorite Candy Bar.”

11. Optimism - An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.

Current Mood:

2008-10-14T22:27:00.000+05:30

What a wonderful world…

2008-09-14T18:10:00.003+05:30

She opened her eyes and reached out for her phone, 7.00 it said. One hour for the alarm to go off. She smiled; glad it was a weekend and went right back to sleep.

Avantika aka Avanti was a 20-something year old girl who juggled more than one thing at a time. She dreamt of being an actress, not in the movies, but in theatre. Although she would have loved to act all day, she was practical enough to know that theatre acting wouldn’t give her the sort of financial freedom she craved for. So she worked part-time in a marketing firm in the city, attended classes in the evenings. Weekends were usually filled with meeting friends; helping them shop, teaching them a new recipe or two, baby sitting their kids, meeting up with an actors club and the like. If she wasn’t doing any of that she’d prolly be at home, cozy with a book or spend time with her mother.

Men were not on her agenda. Falling madly in love and being swept off her feet was not in her priority list. She dreamt of it of course, but that’s all she did. Dream. She had met very few men who interested her, but things never quite worked out. But she knew, someday her 'knight in shining armor' would find her and hold on to her.

“Hello ma….goo morning! Lunch, tomorrow?! Let me see... But I cant be sure ma...i have a pretty busy weekend, Rakhi is throwing her wedding anniversary party...u know I cant miss that! I need to get her something before I go….you sure you don’t wanna go?! Fine…and then I need to return this book to Abhi, I still have 100 n odd pages to go...yeah yeah sure…I’ll make it if I can…u know I would…love you too ma...have a good day..Muah!”

Her day had begun. She made herself a mint tea and sat down to write her to-do list. Once she stuck that to the refrigerator, she began ‘doing’ things in the list. First up was to finish her neighbor, Abhi’s book. He had lent it to her last week and she’d promised to give it back today. She settled in her rocking chair and began to read…

Avantika was always the independent sort. Her parents kept her tied down to their house as long as they could. But the day she graduated, she packed up her bags and bid farewell. She lived in a whole new city, with zero friends sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 other girls. But she was a fighter. Almost 2 years later, she has a job that pays decent, she lives in a rather small but homely apartment not too far from the city and she does everything she feels like! She would go on trips with her friends or take her mother on one. She was living the life she wanted to, except for maybe the knight in shining armor bit.

“Perfect timing Abhi!! I just finished it. Yeah I’ll drop it by your place when I leave...umm... in half an hour? Is that ok...alright…bye!”

She had introduced Rakhi to her husband Avinash aka Avi and they were married for a year now. Rakhi was one of her closest friends & she had met Avi in a sculpting class she had enrolled for. She knew they were perfect for each other and she was right!

“You' re just in time…there is someone I want you to meet!” said Rahki hugging her.

“Well hello to u too! happy happy wedding anniversary babe. Where’s Avi?”

“Did some one ask for me? Hey Avanti...you look lovely” said Avinash hugging Avantika.

“Well thanks jeeju! You don’t look too bad yourself!” she replied smiling.

“There is someone I want you to meet!!” repeated Rakhi.

“Oh my god! Is that Avantika?? Avantika Varma?!!” It was a cousin of Rakhi’s who they weren’t particularly fond of.

“Hello Sheetal. How’ve u been? Long time.”

Rakhi and Avantika exchanged looks. They both knew what was coming next!

“Well I’ve been good. But you look like u gained a few pounds Avanti...hehe...even before marriage huh? Look at me, happily married and yet I haven’t gained even a single kilo!” replied sheetal, doing a lil' whirl for Avantika to see.

Before Avantika could reply, Rakhi oblivious of what just happened quipped “There is someone you need to meet!!”

“Yeah sure babe. But before that let me go say hi to your folks. Been ages since I saw them.” Replied Avantika already on her way to the other side of the room.

“Yeah okay fine, but hurry up coz...”

“There is some one you want me to meet? I know”! Completed Avantika with a smile.

While she talked to Rakhi’s parents, something caught her attention. Someone rather.

She had not seen him before, but she knew she wouldn’t have forgotten if she had! Before she could stop herself from ogling at the stranger, he looked straight at her and smiled. She looked away instantly and could feel all the blood in her body rush to her face. She turned her attention back to what Rakhi’s father was saying. Something about terrorists targeting their city. She had lost track. Pretending to listen she tried to steal another look at the handsome stranger. She used up all her will and looked again, but he wasn’t there.

“You need to meet this person! You just need to! Come with me” it was Rakhi.

She spotted Avinash talking to the stranger and knew that Rakhi was taking her to them. Avanti stopped mid way and asked Rakhi “Who is that guy?! I haven’t seen him before!”

“Well that’s who I’ve been trying to make u meet! He’s the new legal associate in Avi’s firm. Real bright guy. Went to this hot shot law school in the states and all that. You’ll really like him” said an obviously excited Rakhi.

“What makes you think I’ll like some hot shot stuck up Ivy League guy, huh?” snapped Avantika.

“Coz he’s not stuck up, that’s why. Plus he has a great ass! Hehe.. Now just shut the hell up and follow me”. Rakhi was in control. There was no stopping her now.

Avantika had met many guys before. A handful of them thanks to Rakhi. But she never did have butterflies as large as the ones flying around in her tummy right now.

“Dev, this is Avanti. Avanti this is the guy you were asking me about”! Explained Rakhi cheerfully. Avantika looked at Rakhi as if she would pounce on her right then. Avi laughed out loud and put his arms around his confused wife and steered her away declaring that she needed another drink...

********************************************************************

Lying down in bed that night Avantika was smiling to herself. Something she had not done in a long long time! She had had the most fascinating chat with Dev and somehow craved to see more of him.

The alarm woke her up this time and sleep left her body sooner. Avanti got ready very quickly and scanned through her to-do list again. There was a lot of buying to do, groceries, gifts for Neha’s new born, apron for her mom so on and so forth. As she was getting ready to leave, her phone rang. It was him. She recognized his voice, smiled to herself and the butterflies returned.

“I cant meet you for lunch, but why don’t u meet me at the market in an hour? I’ve got lots and lots of shopping to do! You could help me with it plus we get to talk.” suggested Avanti. She had just enough time to pay her mother a quick visit and promise to lunch with her the next day.

He was already waiting for her when she got there. He looked much more at ease in a white tee shirt and a jean. It wasn’t like her to be so attracted to someone she knew so little about, but the chemistry was obvious. Rakhi has never been so right before! He was certainly not stuck up and he made her laugh. They spent the whole afternoon talking about everything under the sun and crossing out items from her list. She knew she was falling for him and falling hard. When they were almost done Dev got a call and had to leave for a bit.

She struck out the last item on her list and decided to wait for him in the park. She sat alone in one of the cement benches, plugged in her head phones. Listening to Louis Armstrong sing ‘What a wonderful World’ she watched a bunch of kids as they played, an old couple holding hands, a young couple so in love.

I see trees of green........ red roses too

I see em bloom..... for me and for you

And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue..... clouds of white

Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights

And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

She was excited about Dev; she wondered if he was ‘the one’, she then made a mental note to discuss with him about the scholarship she had received to a school in the US. She was on two minds about leaving and wanted to talk to someone about it.

As she was getting lost in her thoughts, a child ran up to her. He came close, handed her a wild flower and ran back to his mother who smiled at Avanti.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky

Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by

I see friends shaking hands.....saying.. how do you do

They’re really saying.....Ii love you!
I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow

They’ll learn much more.....than I’ll ever know

And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world!

Right then she heard an intense blast and in reflex she lowered her head, covering her ears with her hands. People in the park started running toward the main gate, screaming. Her heart began beating wildly and she knew she had to get away from there as soon as she could. She spotted the mother and child and set off right behind them. It was then that it happened. A car that was parked nearby burst into a huge flame making a deafening noise. She got thrown into the air and she landed on her back on the hard concrete ground.

Avanti opened her eyes. People were not running anymore. The mother and child lay sprawled on the ground covered in blood.

Her head was fuzzy and she couldn’t hear much. Blank.

Did she just sleep? Maybe this is just a dream. Maybe not. Blank.

She heard noises far away. She tried opening her eyes. Blank.

“Oh shit…Oh shit!!” a familiar sound. Its Dev. He’s here. I’ll be okay now. Blank.

“She wont make it” someone says. Is Dev crying? Blank.

Where am I? He is holding me. My knight in shining armor. Finally. Blank.

Random thoughts

2008-08-25T22:12:00.006+05:30

A lot of things has happened over the past month...I got into my study tempo and then a series of unfortunate events occurred and I lost it. The house has been buzzing with activity, people coming in, people going out. Its been crazy! Now finally after almost a month, its just us again. Lemme tell you about some of the things that has caught my attention..

The Olympics!!! It has been a delight to follow... The breathtaking opening and closing ceremonies mesmerized me. Its great how China used its biggest hitch-its population, to its advantage. I have never seen a show that had SO many performers! And perform they did, in style! It has also been fun to watch India’s golden boy Bindra. I feel bad for the bloke who has to sit through interviews where he is asked some incredibly lame questions that even make me squirm! Here we have a guy, who has managed to do something no other Indian has, so instead of asking him what could possibly be done to change the way things are, ask for solutions, ideas, they ask him what his favorite color is or his favorite food!! After 5 minutes into some of the interviews u can see that the guy's bored. Its nice to see that he hasn’t taken his newly found 'celebrity' status to his head, like some other sports people in our country. *rolling eyes* I just hope he remains this way coz our brutal country is capable of holding you up on cloud 9 one day and dumping you in the trash the next.

Its also lovely to see Vijender Kumar and Sushil Kumar being cheered for their victory. Theirs is the story of the underdogs. Rags to riches- like the rocky movies. Amid all this confusion and politics that surround the indian sporting scenario today, its nice to see both these guys rise up to the occasion, fight all odds and make the country proud. Soon enough we'd prolly see these guys all over the television, promoting cars, bikes, soft drinks, tooth pastes et al! A welcome treat having grown tired of the cricketer-turned model faces..!

I was watching this programme on China on NDTV the other day, and this particular section interested me. They were asking young Chinese people what they thought about China and India. Funny but it seems most of the Chinese youth sees India as this 'backward' country. Asked why and one fat (almost cute) chinki guy snaps "Of course! Your country has a billion people and all u get is one gold medal!" Another youngster defends the fact that they have no voting rights by asking "So what?! we still have better highways, taller buildings and more industries". A statement like that got me thinking!

India and china have so much in common like the fact that we are both ancient civilizations. But much has changed since then. China with its authoritarian communism and India with her parliamentary democracy were once counterparts in every sphere possible, economic, political, technological and social. Lets not even make comparisons now! According to this one statistics, the poverty rate of China went from 53% in 1981 to 8% in 2001!!! Talk about development!!

I could go on and on about the Olympics, the 3 superstars, the cricketers that (if u haven’t noticed already!) have begun to irritate me, and about India and China...But I can feel sleep take over and my thoughts are beginning to get all clogged up!

So that’s it for now...more posts on random thoughts in the days to come.
Cheers! ;-)

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na!

2008-07-04T15:03:00.007+05:30

The storyline is one of the oldest in the history of story lines...The same subject has been made into films over and over, yet the treatment makes all the difference in the world...

The movie revolves around the life of a bunch of friends and how two of them are in love. Although everyone around them knows they're perfect for each other, they fail to see it. Imraan Khan...ahh...Imraan Khan...He does his role to perfection. The guy next door or should i say hottie next door?? ;) This guy is gonna make it big. No doubts! Genelia is adorable, a ball of energy, but still adorable :) The entire cast compliments each other well and the story is carried forward in a consistent pace.

The climax is filmy, for sure! And the plot is predictable from the word 'Go!' but the entire thing is so fresh, and its a simple, very simple- feel good film. It makes you smile and laugh at regular intervals, and as a youngster you connect to a lot that happens in the 3 hrs...A R Rahmans music is peppy and perky and fits the movie just right…

Go watch it, its not a classic or a MINDBLOWING movie nor is it a chick flick. So dont think too much go ahead and spend your money on this down to earth film and get out of the theater singing ‘jaane tuu ya jaane naaa, mane tuu ya mane naa’, just like I did. Finally a song for a bad singer like me to sing.... ;)

Its all about choices..

2008-06-27T19:36:00.002+05:30

I found this article in the depths of my computer while trying to clean up my folders. I dont even remember writing it but Microsoft Word tells me I did, sometime in my 11th standard. Instead of letting it be, I figured I'd put it up here without making any alterations coz it still makes sense.

Many a students see themselves as tomorrows Abdul Kalam’s and Vikram Sara Bai’s. They nourish this dream from a very tender age. They take up science as their subject once they are into high school. They sleep, eat and dream science. They push themselves through school and college to become the best at what they do. Hence its the duty of every institution and individual in this country to encourage such aspiring individuals, provide all the encouragement and support they require, because our country definitely needs great minds such as these.

But at the flipside there are a lot of not-very-brilliant people who take up this stream because of god-knows-what reason!! Some of them could be

-Telling people they are science students make them look better
-The Intellectual look (which they hope to acquire) may attract more of the opposite sex.
-Their friends are ardent on science groups
-Their parents want them to do so
-Science or not, makes no difference!!

People such as these put themselves through a lot of unwanted stress and anxiety and don’t necessarily get the desired result. The outcome would be to grueling years in which they saw nothing more than their classrooms in school and the ones in the tuition centers and mediocre marks. In this competitive world one cannot afford this attitude and sluggish focus. And it’s sad that not many people realize this, and for the ones that finally do, it might be too late.

This is just half way through the story; the other half revolves around the ones who see themselves as tomorrows Man Mohan Singh or P Chidambaram. . I’m talking about the ones who take up commerce or humanities for their further studies. It’s a pity that these people are looked down upon by many fellow students. They don’t realize the fact that sleep less nights and stressful days are a part of these students schedule too. But of course let me be fair here and point out the reasons why some lazy bones take up this stream.

-They think it’s a piece of cake.
-They have no brains to figure out complicated formulas or theories.
-They don’t have the marks for any other stream
-They figure that it’s the easiest way out
-Freed from the tuition cycles.

It’s the sad truth that most people who opt for this stream have done so because of one or all of the above said reasons; but there are a select few who actually love the subject, those few who have waited long to study just the commerce subjects because they know that they can show their complete potential once they’re there.

It could be said that in the last 2 years of ones schooling, the science students get drilled far more than their commerce counterparts. It’s felt because these science students not only have to cope with school but also their various entrance exams, so that they can assure themselves a seat In a decent college. It could be pretty harsh on these young and vibrant minds but lets not forget that these commercians have to get into a good college too. And for that, all that matters for them is their 12th board marks. They can make it or break it with that. After the boards follows various entrance tests to various colleges followed by interviews and GD’s. Its equally hard on them because all the top colleges demand sky-scraping marks, for example Stella Maris and Madras Christian College in Chennai demanded 94.6% cut off for their B.Com courses. The cut off’s keep climbing as you go northwards.

Another major distinction would be that for a sciencian, good knowledge about your subject alone can take you places but a commercian has to have added skill sets, along with his academic proficiency if he/she even has to think about going anywhere.

So when we compare these two opposite poles (which we should not be doing), its pretty evident that they both require a lot of effort, time and drive because success does not come easy. I have seen the sort of effort it takes to do well when your passionate about something like medicine, the drive it requires is tremendous. And I salute every focused individual out there who has had the guts to take up something so extraordinary by his own will.

The reason I even began writing this article was because being a commerce student myself I know my limits and I know the amount of work I will have to put in to be recognized in today’s world, and I just thought it was unfair to prejudge people about the choices they have made especially when they have no idea what the other person is headed for.

I hope reading this article of mine, which I have managed to key down in the middle of the night, makes you think differently and openly the next time you have a career chat with someone…

Born free...Live in Chains.

2008-06-15T23:35:00.006+05:30

Freedom - the word means different things to different people. For some it would be the ability to just pack their bags up and go backpacking around the globe, for some others it would be to go to work or drive or just walk down the streets.

A book I read recently, Princess by Jean Sasson has moved me. It gave me the chance to be a part of the lives of some extraordinary women. They did not go to the moon or start a multi million dollar corporation, most of them were illiterate but i still call them extraordinary because they showed immense will power and courage to face each day as it came. I am talking about the women in Saudi Arabia and this book in particular talks about the women who are part of the Saudi Arabian Royal family.

You know this part in the movies, when the protagonist gets hit by this amzing idea and all of a sudden everything just makes sense? No, that did not happen to me, well not entirely! I began reading this book on a crisp Saturday morning at around 9 and I finished the book before lunchtime. As I lay on the bed with the finished book resting in my fingers and my eyes staring at the fan, I began to reflect. The book had moved me. I could not have read all that I had just read and moved on with my life as if nothing had changed. Something had changed. Something in me snapped. I realized how I had taken so many things for granted and suddenly all my troubles looked insignificant and almost juvenile.

A letter by Princess Sultana, on whom the entire story is based, was included in the beginning of the book. In it the princess talks about how little rights the Arab women enjoy and how they do not have a voice of their own to let the world know what they’re being put through. She called for help from women all across the globe, women who had a voice, women who could make a difference, women who could stand up for themselves. As minuscule as this may seem, this is my effort. Many of you, especially you anand, would argue that this post would not change a thing. You are right. It would not. But I cannot sit tight and wait to grow up and get to the Middle East to do something. This is my voice. The internet will speak for me. For now. Although I may not reach a mass as wide as Jean Sasson did, I would have enlightened you, the reader. And something is better than nothing. Or shall I say someone is better than no one?

Saudi Arabia is a rich country, with ¼ of the world's known oil reserves. It is also a vast country in size, as big as Western Europe, although a large part is desert and uninhabited and the country is home to only 14 million people. There are stiff punishments including the right to murder one's only family member for crimes against an individual; astonishingly women are rarely ever to testify for the reasons give that (1) They are emotional and will destroy their testimony; (2) they cannot understand what they observe; (3) they will give testimony according to what men tell them as they are inferior, and (4) they are forgetful!

Sultana's grandfather was Abdul Aziz, whose descendents have ruled Saudi Arabia since the turn of the 20th century. Aziz amazingly married 300 women and produced fifty sons and eighty daughters; creating a powerful family who are at the centre of economic life in the Kingdom today. Saudi women are essentially paired off into arranged marriages at very early ages, and it isn't uncommon for a 12 year old to be forced to marry someone as much as five times her age, in order that she may produce sons for him.

Although many girls her age were forced to live with people they disliked, Sultana was lucky to marry someone who not only was marrying for the first time but was only a few years older. Her husband, Kareem, offers a contrast between the typical Saudi man and a slightly modernized one. With the birth of a longed-for son, Abdullah, their lives seem to blossom into an even deeper love. However, unexpected events nearly destroy their relationship, and from that point on, her happiness steadily declines.

This book talks about real life occurrences, the one that disturbed me the most was the one where a 22 year old girl was imprisoned for the whole of the remainder of her life, in a concrete cell called the “The Woman’s Room”, a windowless, soundproofed room where she has to live out her days in solitary confinement, food shoved through a narrow slot in the door and a hole which was to be used as a toilet, simply because she had fallen in love with a Westerner while studying in London. Another story is that of a young girl who was caught spending time with a man. She was punished by her father, for dishonoring the family name by drowning her in the family swimming pool with her brothers and other relatives cheering him on.

The book also includes a narration by the princess of a stoning she had witnessed as a child of a woman had been found guilty of adultery. The woman’s hands were bound. Her head hung low. With an official manner, a man loudly read out her crime for the crowd to hear. A dirty rag was used to gag her mouth and a black hood was fastened around her head. She was forced to kneel. A large man, the executioner, flogged the woman upon her back fifty blows.A truck appeared, and rocks and stones were emptied in a large pile. The man who had read off the crime informed the crowd that the execution should begin. The group of people, mostly men, rushed towards the stones and began to hurl the rocks at the woman. The guilty one quickly slumped to the ground and her body jerked in all directions. The rocks continued to thud against her body for what seemed to be an interminable time. Every so often, the stones would quieten while a doctor would check the woman’s pulse. After a period of nearly two hours, the doctor finally pronounced the woman dead and the stoning ceased.

This is only a peek into the brutal truths revealed in this book. I wish to share with you many more. Maybe another day, another time. What better way to end this post than by the words of Princess Sultana herself:

“Nearly 30 years had passed yet nothing had changed. My life had come full circle. Father and Ali. Kareem and Abdullah, yesterday, today and tomorrow, immoral practices passed from father to son. Men I loved, men I detested, leaving a legacy of shame in their treatment of women. My eyes followed the movements of my husband and son entering the mosque hand in hand without me. I felt quite the loneliest figure ever to have lived."

To my favorite b'day girl...

2008-06-14T11:29:00.004+05:30

This is a lil' something i e-mailed mom on her b'day. She insists that i put it up here...

Another year passes you by,
you smile, you laugh and sometimes even cry...

Been doing that since 1966,
you always do it well - with the perfect mix!

You've been a child, you've been a sister,
you listened to your parents but found your own mister :)

You fell in love, you went wild,
you became a wife and ceased to be a child,

Before you knew it Vishnu came along,
with his cute face, blue eyes and cries that sounded like a song,

I wasn't too far behind, soon i was born to you,
chubby and tiny, i took away all that was blue,

You were a good mother, sporty, funny and great to take around,
at PTA's you made us beam and every other mother look round! ;)

Now you've become a friend, a companion, a source of strength,
I know you've got my back and to protect me, you'll go to any length,

Your the chocolate in our biscuits, the cream in our milk,
the cold of our ice creams, the warmth of our coffees,

the world just wouldn't be the same without you...

happy birth day ma, love you...lots! *hug*

The journey of becoming a mime.

2008-03-03T10:43:00.007+05:30

It was just another lazy afternoon. We lay down in the hard wooden benches, resting our backs, legs sprawled, stomachs happy and yapping away to glory. Life was good. It was then that a super senior marched into class looking completely lost. We got off our lazy assess and offered her help. She was looking for 3 girls, she said. To participate for the Kerala University Youth Festival. The youth fest spirit had just begun to catch hold of the college. Is it dance?! Group song? Drama perhaps? Nope…it was for mime.

Interest in what she had to say went as quickly as it came. I had not even sat through an entire mime performance before. Painted faces, gimmicks and the black n white costumes was far from appealing. We began tracing our way back to the wooden benches, half an hour to go and class starts…yawn! “You guys interested?” It was the super senior. The desperation in her voice was unmistakable and that made us give her a second look. A coach had been appointed for both skit and mime, she told us. The guy was good, he was expensive and willing to teach. He just did not have anyone to coach.

Me, anjana and shruthi looked at each other. Our silent gazes asked the same question. “why don’t we give this a shot?”. We agreed simultaneously. She told us to meet up wit her in our large auditorium by 2 o clock. That gave us an hour more on the bench. Sure we said…how hard could this be?

We got there by 2 o clock and sat in the auditorium chairs watching this man make the skit participants do their lines over and over! He did not look young and certainly not old. He wore a white mundu and a red shirt and seemed to be bubbling with energy. He kept jumping around the whole place repeating everyone’s lines with amazing vigor.

We watched them for over an hour, before he called us on stage. There was 6 of us, he seemed pleased. He gave us an overview of the story he planned to narrate with the mime. He told us that our training would begin the next day and that the lanky guy who had accompanied him would be in charge. We left the auditorium cheerfully, unaware of what lay before us.

Training began at 10 the next day morning. The lanky guy was very different today. He was In charge. The main coach would not come for a few days, he said. The junior coach made us do some basic exercises and both to his and our dismay we were just NOT flexible. He kept going on and on about how flexibility was the most important thing in mime. Since it was the first day, everyone was high on spirits and everyone pushed themselves to their maximum. That evening I walked back home, with every inch of my body sore. Hot water baths, Ayurvedic oils, pain relieve balms none of them seemed to help. All I wanted to do was sleep. I ate like a crazy person and hit the bed. It took tremendous will power from my part to wake up the next morning and drag myself out of the bed. Not just the next morning, but every morning that followed for almost a month.

Every muscle in my body hurt, muscles I didn’t know existed hurt too. As days went by our lives began hovering about nothing but the mime. It took up all our time and thoughts. When I called up my mother for our daily chats, all I talked about was practice. When I sat in the bus on the ride back home, I’d practice my mime faces. The only time mime wasn’t in my thoughts was when I was sleeping, coz sleeps were like blackouts. They were so deep; they had never been so great before.

After a week or two the junior coach was joined by a couple other guys. They were all the main sir’s students. One of them was even called the mime specialist. We found the term amusing and even a lil’ funny until we saw the guy act! He was so incredible, he left us spellbound and even a little intimidated.

A few weeks later, the main coach decides to come. We were very nervous, we had heard stories about his temper! But to our surprise he was a cool dude. At least with us, he was. He did not look like what he did the first time we saw him. He was smartly dressed in a jean and a shirt. He was down to earth and he knew how to get the best out of us. The junior coach’s were great too, but this guy had almost 2 decades of teaching experience and that made all the difference in the world.

From that day only he was in charge. He didn’t bring any of his students along with him. It was a one man show. In the month we spent with him, we shared laughs, stories, pain (every once in awhile someone would experience a muscle cramp), fun, fights, tears, ego clashes and the like. The 6 of us that had met him on the intial day had changed. People had come in, people had gone out. But the final 6 of us seemed to hit it off real well and soon a special bond built between us. We knew what ticked the other person off, we knew how to encourage each other, and most importantly how to make each other laugh.

When other teams for the youth fest, had raving internal disputes and backstabbing going on, we stuck together. Any trouble we had was settled then and there, balances were not carried forward. We even formed a special kinship with our coach. He was proud of us, we knew it and we wanted to keep it that way.

The few days before ‘D-day’ coach brought in his students again. This time all of us seemed more at ease with them. The mime specialist I told you about before added his last minute touches, the other guys chipped in their bits, they made us practice till 10.00 pm the night before the big day. And on D-Day they woke us up at 4.30 am, made us do some meditation and asked us to warm up for our last round of practice. We practiced till 8 and then left to get ready.

Pumped with energy, hope, fear and excitement we got into the bus that was to take us to the venue. Our program began by around 11.00 and we were allotted lot number 18. Dressed In our costumes and face made-up with the paint, we huddled at the backstage, we put our hands together and swore to do our best. Our coach looked as if he had no doubt in the world that we would be nothing but the best, and this gave us the energy that even the damn red bull didn’t!

The time we spent on stage went by In a flash…We were greeted backstage by excited parents and college mates. It seems we had done great. All of us looked for sir, who told us that he was happy. That’s all we wanted to hear. We had to make all the effort worth it, we had given it our best shot. No regrets.

When the voice of the judge boomed out telling us we had gotten the 2nd prize, we didn’t even let the poor guy complete. We rose from our seats, screaming in excitement and pure pure bliss! We threw our arms around each other and felt nothing but relief and so much happiness words would never do justice to.

With that day, the chapter that had occupied our minds and hearts for over a month had come to an end. We had learnt a new art, we had found new friends, our confidence levels had gotten a boost and so did our stamina and most importantly we learnt that mime was not just about the painted faces, the costumes or the gimmicks, it was about portraying a story with no voice, it was about toning your skills, controlling your facial expressions, talking with your eyes. And that my friends, is no easy task.

shh...!

2008-02-10T12:01:00.001+05:30

We had a special inspection team visiting our college and thus some of us were given the charge of maintaining 'silence' in the classrooms. I felt like I was in third grade again, playing leader-leader. I tried a bunch of 'grown up' methods of keeping the volume down, but none of them seemed to work. And thus I resorted to a classic method I used to use in my primary school days and to my surprise, it worked wonders...here’s how...

In class I stood before a bunch of faces,
Looking at me with questionable gazes

Why was I there? What was I doing?
didn’t I have anything better to do, than keep them from talking?

I stood before them creating a mystery,
I smiled when they talked, and scribbled in my diary.

This lil' game of mine made them quiet, never thought it'd work,
but had I really given them a fright?

They didn’t rebel, they didn’t shout,
they seemed comfortable and sure didn’t pout.

But soon their voices raised,
I was still writing, but it couldn’t be names!

Now they smiled at me,
I seemed to have gotten lost in poetry,

Perhaps its time I smiled back
And thus recreate the mystery...

Here I go again...

2008-01-21T17:34:00.000+05:30

Feels weird writing after so long, but my fingers sweep through the keyboard as if they never left them in the first place..

I never imagined life without the Internet. But now I’ve been living it. It isn’t so bad, really! There seems to be so much more time. time to reflect. time to daydream. Time to read and time to laze around. But I’ve missed my blog so much. Especially in the last couple of days. I never knew it meant so much to me. Perhaps its this realization that has pushed me into doing this right now. Typing in Microsoft word. Its funny really, when I had the blog and access to the net 24/7, I found it hard to come up with stuff worth writing about and now, poems and prose keep bubbling into my mind every now and then. The other day I came up with a pretty decent poem on my way from college, although I doubt if I could ever reproduce it on paper or the screen.

As crazy as it sounds, I find writing very soothing. The same feeling I get when I am listening to music. It puts me at ease. I figure its coz it’s the only thing I know I do well. I’m not saying I consider myself an excellent writer. Not even close. But there is something about me and the pen or should I say ‘keys’. The things I write need not be sensible. It could be a lil’ limerick in a napkin while waiting for a friend in a coffeehouse or a canto scribbled behind my textbooks, when i take a break from all the studying. Its sorta like the sketches people interested in designing make at every possible surface… I would love to be a writer, you know. Live in Italy perhaps. Cold places and me don’t go too well.

My mind wanders to my home in Italy; a villa resting on some hill. Stone steps lead you to a nearby town. Not a large one, mind you. It has a coffee house which is almost always empty during the mornings except for a dear old man who takes his own time reading the news paper with his coffee, a holiday inn where foreign tourists drop by from time to time and a bar (there always is a bar, if nothing else!)which is packed by evenings! The whether is not hot, but sunny and pleasant. There is the smell of wine and raw earth in the air. An old couple walks by, holding hands and very much In love ;across the street a wife shouts at her husband and hits him with a newspaper. Few kids play with marbles while some others, hide and seek. Teenage girls in short dresses showing off their legs, walk past a group of young men. The guys whistle and the girls break into a run, giggling. Right then the bar door swings open and a man is thrown out. He looks like he’s not had a wash in days. His beard has grown and his clothes have gotten dirty, he reeks of alcohol and just about manages to get to his feet and walk. In the middle of all this, sipping coffee and sitting under a tree would be me. Feasting my eyes and ears and slowly looking away from the town and towards the horizon; i put my thoughts on paper like a painter would, on canvas. I might give birth to some amazing work, I’m also likely to tear the paper after a few lines, but that does not matter.

Back to reality…

Do I see myself doing this? NO! not yet, anyhow! I have so much to do. Don’t ask me what, coz I’m just beginning to figure things out myself. I don’t wanna be brash and just do something on impulse. Like I get up one morning and decide to go backpacking in Europe! I would love to. But I can’t. I’ve found my peace with this fact and I don’t care to rebel. The world Is not a safe place to be in these days. And I wouldn’t wanna wreck all my dreams coz I got driven by some crazy idea. The way I see it, I got one shot at life and I don’t intend on screwing it up!

Although I am not sure what I would do in the years to come, or if my dreams would come true or if I would even have dreams strong enough to chase, I am sure of one thing. Italy will happen. Maybe not in the next 20 years or even the next 40, but I will write a book one day, with cobble stones at my feet and a tree above my head, breathing in the aroma of the country side and looking at the distant blue skies. The story of my life.

Meanwhile, I just have to worry about living a life worth writing about :)

Dear diary,

2008-01-21T17:23:00.000+05:30

There's a lot to do and a lot to learn,
But cant wait to grow up and start to earn,

I'll be free then
doing what i want
Not tied down
and made to run around,

Don't know what I'll be
a corporate girl or maybe marketing
guess I'll have to carefully see
what can bring me more ching-ching!

I wish I was sure
wish I had a dream to chase,
But each time I think
feel like I'm lost in a maze.

So I take a day as it comes,
Its easier that way,
no pressure no heat,
listen to people - hear what they gotta say,

Its hard sometimes, you know
Its even lonely,
wish I had someone to talk to,
none I trust, none like my diary

I poured out my heart to you,
many a days and nights,
you never had much to say
But you always heard me through,

I don't always update you,
sometimes I forget,
life can be busy, trust me,
its not always cozy

I have to leave you now dear diary,
There's a lot to do and a lot to learn,
Before I grow up and start to earn!

unnamed verse

2008-01-21T17:17:00.000+05:30

This lil' poem is dedicated to a particular teacher of mine as it was conceived during her class...

I stand alone by the sands of shore,
This reminds me of long before;

I come here often to find my peace
And my worries begin to cease.

Days when boredom knocks on my door,
Dreams come to me and I let them soar;

Often there’s music but not always so,
‘coz I maybe in class where my teachers words flow.

I barely listen but she is hard to ignore
I get bored, not wanting to hear more;

When will she stop, when can I leave?
Maybe I should stop rhyming but that would make me sleep;

So here I go again, rambling away to glory
Perhaps I should listen now and end my story.

Some people have way too much time on their hands.

2007-09-16T18:08:00.000+05:30

Attention fellow teenagers! I got this mail forwarded to me (ironically by my mom!) and couldn't resist posting it here!

Those of you who think this is immoral or unethical of me to put up here, take this lightly. Laugh it off...And for those of you who benefit from this post, write to me and lemme know how it went! I would not only love the idea that i helped a fellow student in need, but I'd really like to meet someone who'd spend so much time making cheats instead of just studying!!.....lol

_________________________________________________________________

Have you ever cheated in your exam? How do you do it ? Ever get caught ?

Well, the conventional way of cheating is over! Let's look at the latest way !

1. Type out your notes in the computer:

2. Make sure to resize the font size 6:

3. Print out the notes with your own printer:

4. Make copy of the note using "toner based" photo copier:

5. Stick a layer of transparent adhesive tapes (eg:Scotch Tape) on the copied notes:

6. Cut them into strips according to the size of the adhesive tape:

7. Soak the strips in cold water:

8. After a few minutes, peel off the adhesive tape from the paper carefully:

9. You will be able to see that your notes have been transferred to the tapes:

10. Dry the adhesive tape so that it will become sticky again.

11. If you are so lucky to have a clueless teacher, you may just bring the adhesive notes into the exam hall and stick it directly at the answer sheet

12. Alternatively, you may have to stick it on your pen before you go into the exam hall:

13. Or you may also stick it on your drink:

Good luck on your exam !

My take on Transformers and Aag!

2007-09-15T16:51:00.000+05:30

The screenplay isn't great. The dialogues aren't strong enough and sometimes it even sounds pretty lame! It definitely does not make u sit in the edge of ur seat biting ur nails off like u did watching terminator or Armageddon, coz the plot is predictable! But the special effects make up for all that!!Transformers is such a stylish movie! The hype that surrounded the entire movie is justified!

Although quite a lot of scenes in the first half reminded me of the utterly immature Lindsay Lohan movie- Herbie, the movie soon builds up pace. The movie is packed with action sequences and most of them very well taken.

The movie switches between very rough battle scenes and some funny scenes with the human characters. And since i was not a fan of the comic version i have no idea if director Michael Bay has done justice to the source material. But Transformers is a movie you cant miss if your the kind that enjoys a loud kick ass movie!

This movie has been dubbed the disaster of the century! RGV himself has called it a mistake and the infamous movie critic Rajeev Masant, who i don't bother listening to these days coz he called Salaam-e-Ishq and KANK lovely movies even threw an egg at the camera dedicating it all to RGV! But surprise surprise!! I actually liked the first half!!

I have not seen the historical movie Sholay and so for me, Aag was just another movie. Everybody looked good in their roles, except Nisha Khotari. She looked like a sleazy bimbo and proved that she cant act for nuts! She was so awful i dont remember ever having disliked someone so much! Mohanlal's accent was a huge let down and although Amitabh looked so fatigued and worn out he still managed to hit the crap out of the strong and young Ajay Devgan. The magic of Indian Cinema...!

But all that apart, Big B was amazing! I cant think of another person who couldve potrayed the role the way he did. As for Mohanlal, there was nothing great in his performance except for the scene where he gets his fingers chopped off. This maybe coz we have seen him in so many amazing roles in malayalam cinema that when you see his average performance in Aag, u know he wasnt properly utilized.

The second half was a Major drag. I almost dozed off a couple of times. But the fact is, I've seen worse movies! bollywood has produced so many brainless flicks that i could easily breeze through this one and I applaud RGV's guts!

I've been Tagged, alright?!

2007-09-10T00:07:00.004+05:30

Although i had no idea what Athulya meant when she told me "i've tagged you and I cant wait for your answers..", I figured it all out and here they are...

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it:

- One sunny morning, I'm outside the kitchen door polishing my white canvas shoes for school when i hear the sound of a chain being dragged through the concrete floor. My heart began beating like crazy against my chest .The sound could not be mistaken. It was the noise 8 year old me feared the most. Chief our huge German Shepherd was on the loose, again! The last time that happened I ended up with several deep bite marks all across my body and a tetanus injection. I dropped my shoes and trembling all over, ran for my life. I ran across the hall where I bumped into a young maid who was sweeping, but recovered fast and resumed my running. Once in my room i shut the door and turned to face the long mirror. There was blood flowing down my nose. And thus i acquired my first and only scar on the topmost point of my nose thanks to all the glass bangles that adorned my newly married maids hands.

Dramatic , I know! But I couldn't help it. Unlike some people i have just one major scar I can boast of! lol..

2. What does your phone look like?

- The sleek and sexy Sony Ericsson K810i...! ;)

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

-Oh! loads of stuff...From one of my favorite poems of all time 'Even this shall pass away' By Theodore Tilton (http://www.elfinspell.com/TiltonAllThings.html) to a Dennis the Menace poster that shows lil' Dennis trying to slay gigantic Goliath with his catapult and reads 'No defeat is final until you stop trying' to pictures of people i like seeing on a daily basis and a couple o other random stuff...

4. What is your current desktop picture?

-A breathtaking picture of the earth.

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

- Being straight or gay is a very personal choice. And If two adults wanna live together, let them! That's as far as my comments on the issue go.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

-You mean other than a boyfriend who is a Harvard graduate looks like Wenworth Miller, had a smile like James Franco and body like Paul Walkers ? naah...that's pretty much it! ;-) lol

7. What time were you born?

-5.55pm. Thursday. The 9th of March, 1989.

8. Are your parents still together?

-Very much! Although they have been through a lot of crap, they've stuck together! Good for them and good for me...

9. Last person who made you cry?

-Umm...My big brother! :-(

10. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?

-Christian Dior, Tendre poison! Love it!!!!

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

-Jet black hair, cut short! Somehow men with long hair have a tinge of feminity and that's a huge no-no! Colour..umm...deep brown eyes sound mysterious!

12. What are you listening to?

-Unwell, matchbox 20.

humming: All day

Staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night

Hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something...

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

-Hell yeah!! Always was. I like bright sunny spaces. Darkness is plain spooky.

14. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

-Well if I wanted to ask someone out, that person would've met my standards, which you all must've prolly read above. hehe...So if i ever met someone for who i completely flipped for, and if that jerk doesn't ask me out. I most definitely will.

15.If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

-Cotton candy! I’ve not had it in years...and I'm crazy about them!

16.Who was the last person who made you mad?

-This girl in class who tried to push me down the stairs, in good fun. But I would've gone tumbling all the way down if a friend hadn't caught me. I got so mad that day but didn't do much other than tell the girl, in a very shaky yet scary voice "don't you ever try that again!! you understand?!"

17.Who was the last person who made you smile?

-My big brother. We have such a strange relationship. He is the only person who can make me loose my cool in a few minutes and the only person who makes me laugh at myself!

Typing up the answers was more fun than i thought it would be..So here's me tagging the wackiest, craziest, creative genius i know ;) - Saran.

G'bye to G'bye parties!

2007-08-03T18:17:00.000+05:30

A goodbye party is one where all the old friends get togeather and talk about all the good times they've had and abut their plans for the future...And of course, a goodbye party is a one time thing.

But not with my friends.

We had a bunch of goodbye lunches, brunches and snacks after our board exams where we spent time pondering about the various 'ifs' that lay before us and then another lot after the results and yet another after we had decided on colleges...We had all gotten so comfortable with each other over the years that we didn't really wanna be splitting ways...

But today, we had our last formal goodbye lunch. I can call it 'last' with confidence 'coz in three days college begins for all of us!

Kosh as usual got there an hour early, even before the place opened up! Laksh got there right on time and me and Anand got there a couple o minutes late! (we had to make an entrance! lol)

And so we sat in our favorite hangout in the entire city, and spend the next few hours reliving all the fun moments and making last minute confessions!

Kosh is the sweetheart of the lot. As he is his parents only kid, we're the closest things he has to siblings and BVB is like his second home. The walls of the school have seen him grow from a lil' kid in kindergarten, to the know- it- all-boy and then eventually the self confident (sometimes a bit too confident) teenager! He also has an amazing memory, he remembers the first things all of us said to him, he remembers all the embarrassing stories that Ive been trying so hard to forget, he remembers every controversy, which he describes with so much enthusiasm, that it'll make u feel like it happened yesterday when in reality it would've happened at least 3 or 4 years before...All that said he is the most loyal friend Ive ever had.You can count on him for anything, he'll never let you down.

Then comes Anand, Ano to some of us. Hes a ball of energy! Ironic considering the fact that he is famous for being a lazy ass!! But when he is in a good mood, he just goes on and on and on! Today we made him recount some of his very very embarrassing tales whose secrets we never really did know...But he was sportive and narrated his story and answered our doubts very patiently!

Then came laksh, Ive written about her in my older post, shes our phoebe!Even though she hates being referred to like that, i cant help it!(sorry babe!!). She was her very usual self today..although she did get pretty sappy by the end of the day. She cursed me for joining another college, and made it very clear, for the millionth time that she just does not like change!

And so the four of us, spent our day...knowing full well that such a private meeting wouldn’t happen anytime soon...'coz next time there's a reunion, there'll be a whole load of people, with a whole load of new stories...but hey! atleast the goodbye lunches are over with! ;-)

to you...

2007-07-26T22:49:00.000+05:30

I happened to sit idle in my bed when i came up with this short poem. After i finished writing it i knew i had to dedicate this to 2 very special people...Koshy and Anand, this is for you.

People come and people go,
some stay but most don't.

But you did,
through good times and bad,
you were there when I was happy and sad.

You made me laugh and you made me think,
sometimes you drove me crazy
but that does not change a thing!

You are what I'd call a perfect friend,
I might even give you a ten on ten.
coz you knew my heart and when I was lonely,
you always knew where to find me.

I'm glad i met you buddy,
coz your a gem, worth every penny!

So here i am trying to say goodbye,
the words wont form,
but memories are passing me by...

This is tough and this is sad,
But I've gotto say it
and not feel too bad.

Goodbye dear friend,
I hope life is good to you and that
most of your dreams come true....!

School kid to College Girl ...

2007-07-26T11:16:00.000+05:30

People definitely see you in different light when you say "I'm in school" compared to "I'm in college"...The word school seems to have an air of innocence about it while college has a completely different charm altogether!

This amazing transition happens in less than three or four months...Getting into college requires a lot of preps...especially for a girl..The school uniforms have to go and so does the school ribbons, socks and the dull black school shoes...The wardrobe has to be done up all over again. And this calls for......... shopping! A girls favorite pastime!

Along with all that, you have to go college hunting too!...I was pretty headstrong about a particular college and a particular course, then when i came to know that i wouldn't get that course on merit i decided on another course, but still unwilling to even entertain the thought of another college. But one morning i get up and find an interview call card from another college where I'd gotten the course that i originally wanted, on merit. That was when i had to decide...

Choosing between the course you always wanted to do and the college that you'd decided on with your friends, is pretty hard. Especially for a teen. The right thing to do, is very obvious. but its not always about the right thing, is it?!

My teenage shallow self almost succumbed to the latter choice but i was quick to rethink my options...

After a lot of pondering, researching and talking to some older wiser buddies of mine, i finally decided to go for it! I chose the course.

As i walked into the college for my interview, i promised my usual optimistic self that it wasn't that bad. The campus was spacious and very pretty.

The next huge problem was finding my-kinda-girls, as its an all girls college. That worry was short lived. I soon met a very bubbly girl Liz, who had the same worries that i did! We hit it off right away! Although college opens in a week, both of us have been yap yapping every single day. We have so much in common and cant wait to meet the rest of the batch!

I guess you don't always get what you want and sometimes you don't always want what you get, but like one of my friends later reminded me, there's always a silver lining in a dark cloud...

Wanna be the baby, baby?!

2007-07-19T16:38:00.000+05:30

Vishnu, my older brother once told me the reason he hated being the older kid was coz i got to do everything that he got to do, but 2 years beforehand and with less trouble! Lemme throw in some examples to bring more clarity to what i just said...

As soon as Vish got himself a seat in med school he went phone hunting. He came up with a couple of options but almost all of them had pretty high price tags. This was followed by a million questions from my folks..."is it really worth all that money?"..."what if u lost it?"...."are u sure this is the phone for u?"...There was never any question about not buying him the phone coz all of us knew that if anyone deserved it, it was him! But they just wanted to be sure...And so they got him the phone he asked for, although he had to wait a while...!

From the day the phone was bought my brother showed it off to my folks, assuring them that their money was well spent. And i should add, my folks loved the buy! Anyway, a couple of days later, i tell my folks that i needed a particular phone, which was pretty pricey too, and without a flicker of the eye, my dad says, "sure!!" ...you should've seen vish's face, he would've loved to ram my head through a wall...i didn't have to do any convincing, i didn't have to answer a million questions and i certainly didn't have to wait!

He didn’t say anything which suggested that he was pretty pissed, but I can read him like a book, and the second my dad answered my query I thought “o-oh!!”…But I don’t blame him, it can be pretty frustrating when you have to fight for something and all your sibling's gotta do, is ask for it!

His entry into Trivandrum Medical College was a long hard slog, that included very frustrating days, a lot of homesickness, a lot of pressure and worry and to top it all, expectations were sky-high! And i knew i just wasn't cut off for that or for the amount of studying that lay beyond an MBBS..Its not that i wanted to do medicine, i never did! But even the thought of dedicating around 10 years of my life to medicine with the commitment and focus Vishnu had was just beyond me!

This was the phase when i began to respect Vishnu for who he was.. I was beginning to understand that there was so much more to him than the wacky, fun loving, bully he was to me...

Anyway, another lovely thing about being the baby is that if there's any running around to do, be it buying stuff from the shop, delivering something to someones house; Vishnu is always made to do it! I don't know if it is coz im a girl or that im the kid, either way i rarely am asked to go about and get stuff done, which is perfectly cool with me coz i hate stepping out of the house, unnecessarily!

So yeah, i love being the baby of the family!! But mind you, there are huuge drawbacks...

One of the majour one is that it takes some time for the family to treat you like an adult and understand the fact that you've actually grown up... my family will hopefully realise this fact by the time i turn 30! *rolling eyes*

Another huge downside, is if your sibling turns out to be remarkable in some field..Then it becomes hard to live up to, coz your standards will be set very high! In my case, its lovely to say "my brother is a medico"...sounds charming.....but my very own "b.com" sounds like crap next to it...

So if i wanted to make a mark for myself and be at par with him or at least come close (academically speaking), it'll not only take me a long long time but a hellalotta qualifications too!...But its k, there no reason to worry, as long as i can write, im safe. As writing is my forte! But the day he turns into a Shakespeare, i will have to do some serious worrying!! ....But on the other side if your sibling turns out to be a complete idiot, its great!!! You can be the celebrity of the family.....he he he....

All this apart, at end of the day however brilliant or stupid your sibling is, hes family...and no matter what either of you achieve, he'll always be a phone call away, coz this chap's here to stay!

In praise of laziness

2007-07-18T14:36:00.000+05:30

Its funny how you think you have lots to do when you have very little time and very little to do when you have lots of time!

Studying for the last board exam required a lot of will power from my part coz the holidays were so close by, just an exam away...Ideas kept popping into my head...I scribbled 'to-do' lists everywhere!

But wen 'd-day' came, the only thing i wanted to do was gobble down food and sleep...I assumed that this phase would soon pass....but i was sooo wrong!

Its been almost 3 months that i've been home, and ive managed to turn into a real lazy ass! Coz all i wanna really really do, is eat and then sleep...!! Now the primitive 'to-do' lists look trivial and almost ridiculous!

Although i admit i managed to do some meaningful stuff, like the whole blogging thing...i havent done much!

The minute guilt sweeps in, i think "wot the hell, this is gonna be the longest holiday of my life, n i might as well enjoy it!"...and with that one remark, i am guilt free and ready for a scrumptious meal!

So for all those of you, who have had a wonderful holiday but did nothing great enough to write home about, i say you think in the same lines as i do.....it'll help!

A pat on your shoulder, gurl!

2007-07-17T23:49:00.000+05:30

The Indian Girl of today, aspires to study in the best of institutions, earn not just big bucks but respect and fame. She considers herself equal to men, if not better! But she hasn't ceased to be dedicated to her family, be it parents or husband and kids...

There are many women today who efficiently juggle family and career, and its amusing when you actually think about the fact that, just two generations before them, hardly any woman was a graduate, let alone finished schooling. She looked after her family, just like many before her...She was oblivious to all the changes around her..and I'm not talking about what happened centuries ago, nor about ancient India, this is the recent past...

Allow me to travel through time....The Brit's have just taken over India.

The maharanis of various kingdoms travelled the world, wrote books (which were mostly sold in the west, as not many Indians were Literate and the literate ones, I'm sure had better things to read than 'empowerment of women' and stuff like that!)and did a lot of other things...but even while they travelled, they were extremely cautious and very conservative, by the British standards, at least!

Most of these maharani's who abide my the purdah ie, after their marriage(which occurs during their early teens)they do not talk or even see other men, that includes their male cousins.The only man in their world would be their husband (although he gets to have a lot of wives!).Some maharanis continued this even on their foreign trips!

In a book by Lucy Moore, she says some of these maharanis have been in the purdah for so long that they haven't even seen the front of the palace they've been living in, for years!!

But there are exceptions like Chimnabai, maharani of Baroda or Sunity Devi, maharani of Cooch Behar...Both these lady's were ahead of their times, both were favorites of Queen Victoria...But then again, when it came to matters concerning their family, they were as conservative as any other Indian woman would be...

Of course I've been talking only about the crème de la crème here, there were and still are many women who are so far from reality...actually i cant say that can i ? Its just that our reality isn't their reality...The suicide bombs in Islamabad may keep me awake at night, thinking "where the heck is this world going to..?". But a rural woman might loose her sleep over how she has to scrape together some breakfast the next morning for her 8 kids!...

So yeah, that's there...But the point i was trying to make here was; from being nothing but objects that were used to continue a family lineage, to being globetrotters, the Indian woman has grown so much!Women like Kalpana Chawla, Sunita Williams, Naina Lal Kidwai , Mallika Srinivasan, PT Usha, Sania Mirza, Aishwarya rai etc, have taken India to the world!

I know that there is so much more to be done, starting from the grass root level. But once in a while taking a peek at our past and observing how far we've come, in so little a time is like a pat on your shoulder, that makes you feel good and say "not bad, huh?!"...

Going back home!

2007-07-15T20:01:00.000+05:30

A couple of weeks ago, I was in Wayanad. Kalpetta to be precise. Its situated in the northern part of Kerala and its a quiet hill station. I was born there and spent an earlier part of my childhood there...

After the millennium party, which went very badly for me coz i was busy puking when the year changed from 1999 to 2000 (thanks to some non-alcoholic drink i had!)...we decided to shift base to Trivandrum. And so we did...life went on in the capital city...

Id never gone back to Wayanad since then, but i did....very recently! I was going back home after 7 years...I was so excited i couldn't sleep the night before...

When we finally got there i insisted that i wanted to walk from the gate on top, through the 320 meter long drive-in coz i didn't wanna miss anything...Every step of the way memories unfolded...The narrow sidewalk beside the gate where i used to struggle to get my huge school bag through...the large rock on the corner of the road which i used to rest my brothers report card so that i could fake my parents signature (we got caught the very same day! guess my version wasn't original enough!)...the tree against which i rammed my cycle and hurt my knee, the mango trees i threw so many stones at!, the lawn where me, my brother and his friends played football, and so much more...

the view from our house...

The house seemed smaller to me, it wasn't laarrge anymore...the minute i entered the house i remarked to my dad "pops, the house has gone smaller"...and he replied "i don't think so, i think u just got bigger!"...I guess that shows how long I'd been away..The next couple of days were filled with 'ooos' and 'aaahs'....I met a lot of the old workers, who were shell shocked to see me, coz i wasn't the quiet, chubby girl with short hair anymore!

The week that followed was so much fun. Gardening, air rifle shooting, exploring my dads library n reading my heart out, picking wild fruits off trees and eating them ,watching monkeys on trees and listening to the rain (that would just not stop)...was all new! It felt like i was doing everything for the first time. An old maid, who used to look after me when i was a kid, made sure that i had all the stuff i LOVED for breakfast, lunch and dinner...she also fussed over me constantly, n i relished the attention!!....

I guess i'd taken it all for granted as a kid and the 7 years apart from this abode of peace, made me realize how lucky i was and now, I treasure every little thing!

Funny how life works...eh?

Top 3 mushy movies of all time!

2007-06-16T20:26:00.001+05:30

I saw my first romantic movie when i was about 7 years old. Its a wonder that my mother let me watch it, but she did anyhow.

The movie was magical- it was called 'A walk in the clouds' ... It had Keanu Reeves and Aitana Sánchez-Gijón in the lead roles..It was a wonderful story about a soldier from World War 2 who returns home to find his wife cheating on him and a young lass whose boyfriend leaves her when he discovers that she is pregnant...They meet in a train and decide to help each other out...

He has nowhere to go and she has no one to take with her to her family...its perfect!

first signs of real love!

He finds in her household what he has wanted all along...a real family, a large one at that!...complete with an adorable grandmother, a fun loving grandfather, authoritaterian father, a graceful mother, a youthful energetic lil' brother and a bunch of caring and loyal servants...

Since he was an orphan, the love everyone had for each other and the warmth with which they treated him, makes him feel at ease and he soon forms very special bonds with every member of the huge family...

And so the romance begins, there is nothing that is out of the ordinary, in this movie....He does not have any cheesy dialogues, he doesn't do anything that a normal guy wouldn't do...And yet they fall in love...

The gorgeous cinematography, full of golden sunsets and picturesque panoramas, makes the whole film look incredible...Aside from some mild language, anyone else who enjoys a movie full of romance and beauty should go for A Walk In The Clouds.

Another movie that will always remain a favorite to me and to many other women across the globe, is 'Pretty Woman'... It is one of Hollywood's best and brightest motion picture love stories.

Edward (Richard Gere) is an extremely successful businessman, who knows how to manipulate the corporate world without a flicker of insecurity, but when it comes to firming up relationships and getting positive results from them, he fails. Vivian (Julia Roberts) is a wise cracking, say what-you-feel kind of gal, who has intelligence, style, and an amazing personality!

She makes him realize that life is not all about 'work' and he brings a certain grace and confidence into her life...the loveliest part of the movie is how u see Julia Roberts change...Her transformation from a callow girl to a elegant woman, is beautiful...

this is one of my favorite scenes in the movie, when she gets back at a pretentious shop girl.

The movie also has certain characters that you'll never forget, like the hotel manager who helps Julia out and her friend who is a prostitute too, but a very adorable one...

The next best movie is Notting Hill....Its Julia Roberts again, but as Anna Scott, a Hollywood star who meets a simple English bloke by accident.

They live in very different worlds (obviously!).. She is popular, no one beyond his family would know him..She has an amazing career and he is trying hard to make things work with his boring lil' travel book shop..

a very cute scene...

So far, sounds like an everyday comedy – but Notting Hill wins its real points in the details. Director Michell’s London is every bit is real as a Bee gees album. And, big surprise, it’s the cast of completely unknown supporting characters that really carry the film.

If you like lighthearted romances, like i do, Notting Hill is for you.

My all time favorite e-mail !

2007-06-13T16:33:00.000+05:30

Its common for a kid or a teenager to idolize someone...I idolized Shashi Tharoor-he was my role model! ...There is one other person I admire. She is worshiped by many and adored by many more, and she is not what you call a 'typical' role model for a kid...Her name is Aishwarya Rai.

(The picture shows teenage Ash with her brother!)

Everybody knows she looks amazing but only some know that she was an outstanding student in school, she had the 9th rank in the national level for her 10th standard board exams and that she was a university topper, she was also popular for being very active in co-curricular activities!

Some people say that she sounds fake and sometimes shows poor sense of style! But what the hell, as long as shes got more pros than cons, I dont give a shit what people think!

Anyways, one day while i was surfing aimlessly across the world wide web i decided to check out her official website, which my cousin was telling me about a couple of days back...I wasn't interested in the wallpapers or screen savers, there was one thing that caught my attention though. It said 'Write to Aishwarya Rai'.

So jobless me sat and wrote her a mail...I wasn't being choosy about my words nor did i edit wot i wrote..i just typed and clicked send! The email follows:

At 03:39 PM 11/11/2006, you wrote:

I've never done this sorta thing before..(writing to celebrities, i mean!).anyways i guess there's always a 1st time...!! so here i go...

the reason I'm writing to u is very simple... its not coz ur THE most beautiful person i know or the most popular........and trust me i dont wanna start saying stuff like 'its coz ur so warm n balh blah', coz obviously i dont have a clue about wot sorta person u r..!! but wot facinates me about u is your academic excellence....!!

i just love the fact dat ur nt just anotehr bombshell....u actually have the brains and the brawn!!! way to go girl!!!

thing is, mom used to keep tellin me how important it is to just not be a pretty face and she keeps sayin (to this day!!) about hw u r such an all rounder..! so then i wanted to be like u...good with academics coz god had blessed me with sufficient looks..and so far ive done great wth my books..and it feels so goood!!!!

so i just tot i should let u know dat u were and ARE my role model...and your a great one to have..!! hats off for all ur acievements aishwarya, i hope there are many more to come..!!

ps: i hated the questions simi garewal asked u during her interview...she sounded so gossipy but i tot u handled her brilliantly and with a lotta grace.....! hi five !! ;)

gotto run now....u really dont have to reply to this but i hope u read it...:)

wishing u the best,Veda.

And almost immediately i receive an automated message from the site saying that Ash receives almost 15,000 emails per day and since she cant possibly reply to them all, one shouldn't be disappointed if a reply never arrives.....

Just as i suspected!! i deleted the email and moved on...

The next day i tell my brother about how i cant handle the 30 odd emails i get a day and imagine how she'll have to handle 15,000! My brother was quick to say "wot sorta jobless people sit and write to celebs?!" and i was very quick to say.."yeah! i know!!".

That night at around 7, i check my Gmail account to find a reply. My heart pounding , i opened the mail...."could it really be her?? would she reply in a day??"...The reply read:

thanks for the note Veda........

your mom is certainly correct!

the world can be a tricky place at times

but with a good education you will find it a bitmore manageable.

be well and God Bless.

Aishwarya.

Aishwarya Rai
www.AishwaryaWorld.com

This was followed by a very surprised me cheekily admitting to my family that i spent time online writing to a film star and then with a huge grin telling them i got a REPLY!!!!

The next day in school this was all i could talk about...This not only made my pals jealous but they were even openly bitchy about it!! (which was funny, coz i kept bugging them about how i was a step closer to abhishek ;) lol)

To this day i don't know if she wrote it herself or one of her assistants did..but all i know is, even after all my friends, cousins, cousins friends, moms friends and my brothers friends wrote to her in that site; I was the only one who got a reply.

And that is proof enough for me that i really did receive a mail from my all time favorite star!

My 'Cheeni Kum' experience!

2007-06-12T21:32:00.000+05:30

When i began blogging, i thought i could go on and on...but i was mistaken...big time! All of a sudden my creative juices began to dry up and i lost my will to write..I blame it all on the weather..Its been raining here and very cold-perfect time to cuddle in bed with a book!!The last thing i wanted to do was sit in front of the pc in this not-very-comfortable-chair and write!

But i have this older-wiser buddy, who kept telling me to be consistent and 'write more'...so here i am in my woolen socks, all set to write..

theres just one problem though, i still don't know what to write about!!

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.... anyways, here i go....

Yesterday i happened to see a hindi movie called 'Cheeni Kum', it had Amitabh Bachan and tabu (i dont know her last name!) starring in it...I wasn't really particular on going, but after i saw its trailer on tv i really wanted to! I mean, think about it- I've sat through almost all brainless bollywood flicks (kank, salaam-e-ishq, salaam namaste!)..so i was sure id breeze through this!

And so we saw the movie(mommy dearest, me and a buddy o mine - anand) It had none of the glam-sham stuff..no dancing around trees, no songs in picturesque locales, no handsome actor nor a drop dead gorgeous actress. It was a story about the amazing chemistry between a 64 yr old dude and a 34 year old dudette and how they fall in love...It had no cheesy lines or any controversial touchy-touchy scenes but there was a lot of dry humour and sarcasm and some exceptionally good one liners! you can laugh through the entire movie..well almost!

But i have to admit i did feel odd about the whole concept, a girl loves a guy whose older than her dad!(tabus dad is 58)...i couldn't help but think.."when she becomes 44 he'll be 74, when she becomes 54 hell be 84, and when shes finally 64 he'll be 94" !!! that is soo weird!! But then bad bad me is just looking at the 'physical' part of the relationship...(i am so superficial!)...

The only way i can understand what she went through is when i look back at the 1st time i met Shashi tharoor..(In case you've been living on another planet or haven't watched anything but crap on tv & u have no clue about who he is, here's an intro:)

Shashi Tharoor is a keralite born in london, brought up in bombay!He suffered asthama as a child and was often restricted to the bed, and soon became a voracious reader!He later joined the United Nations and until recently was the Under Secretary General of the United Nations.He was nominated by India for the post of The UN Secretary General. Although he was shortlisted he never made it to the post, which is now occupied by Ban Ki Moon of Korea ( i think!)...(note: this guy was my role-model for ages!Ive always wanted to work in the UN!!)

Anyways, he had come to Tvm to receive an award which was being given by a family friends company.We went to the official function and heard his speech which completely put me off coz he was reading paragraphs out of his book (which was not to be circulated in kerala!)but unfortunately id read it just a couple of days ago...Anyways we go to the private dinner party later and see that hes busy giving interviews to channels..

The funny thing was most of the 'socialite' women there didn't have a clue about the fact that he was in the same building as them! This was not only my 1st time meeting an international figure but my very first 'hot-shot party'...All the who's-who of kerala were there..Not politicians but just big business giants..(mostly their wives and kids!).And i have to say- i hated the crowd! They all looked mean and bitchy and so very artificial to me..Although there were a couple of real classy people...

Anyways when i went into the room to meet ST, i wasn't really nervous or anything..How could i be? He was just a 50-something year old guy who happened to be pretty powerful..I would've been sooo much more nervous had i met Chad Michael Murray or something (although hes not that famous!)

But to my complete surprise; he charmed the hell outta me! i found myself blinking at him and almost forgetting my name!! I was ***star struck*** !

He was so charming and he had this air about him, supreme confidence and at the same time making you feel at ease...He had lovely hair for his age (which he kept sweeping back!)..and he had an amazing voice...ohh and not to mention those greenish-brownish eyes!

After some talking as we prepared to leave i blurted out "I feel like I just met a rock star!"...I'm sure hes used to hearing teenage girls and their mothers say crazy stuff like this but he was gracious and laughed it off, although after i got out i wanted to kick myself!!!

So see where I'm going with this?! If i, Veda VN, can think this way about an 'uncle', then why cant tabu??!!The minute this thought entered my heard the last ounce of 'ickiness' about the whole issue vanished..!

but u have to know, my crush on ST was short lived coz the very next day i did my research and to my complete happiness found that hes got 2 amazing Yale graduate sons!! Ive focused my attention on them now ;) !!

Moral of this long post : You dont always need a athletic, handsome, superr hott dude to make u happy... an old uncle will do..as long as he can bring stars to your eyes! *fluttering eyelashes*

My tryst with the computer...

2007-06-09T07:58:00.000+05:30

My family bought its very first pc when i was in the 3rd standard...until then i really had no notion about this all-new machine, id just seen it a couple of times...

On 'D-day', me and my brother watched as workers unloaded the whole thing and placed it in my dads work table...I thought it looked beautiful, although i thought my dad was exagerating a wee bit when he said this little thing would conquer the world one day! I mean come on, it was just a lil' tv and a box that came with a stylish typewriter after all..how much could it possibly do??!!

But soon i replaced my crayon and drawing books with 'Paint' ! I used to write notes to my parents, my friends and often to myself using microsoft word, print it out and send it along to the recepients...this paint-word fixation went on for a while until my dad loaded a couple of games and that glued me to the wonder machine...

But soon my 7 year old life got so busy, i had very little time to spare...moreover my brother had marked his territory around the computer, and a frown would form on his adorable face whenever someone spend too much time with it, too much time being anywhere between 5 to 10 minutes!

One day as i was spending quality time with my barbies, mom calls out to me...i find her in dads workstation accompanied by my brother...she asks me to hurry up and as i stared at a page, that said 'yahoo', i wondered why in the world this couldnt wait until i finished my session with my barbie dolls....she then explained to me that i was looking at a 'webpage'...and showed us around..but since the connection was as fast a snail, i didnt see much...

After a couple of days mom called out to me again, this time to teach me how to make an email id..my very first...the next day i went to school like id just got back from space, head high and a huge grin across my face...I waltzed my way into class flaunting my email address, i was probably the only kid in school who had an email id..i was a celebrity!

The id i made with my mom that afternoon died soon enough, although i did see a couple more webpages other than yahoo.

Ive mentioned the 'city experience' in my previous post...the first time i browsed in the city, i was so thrilled that i went running to my parents and told them i saw more than 10 webpages in less than 5 minutes!!! life was goood!!!

I did not waste any time in exploring the world wide web...i took tests, i read articles, i played games, i met people, and a whole bunch of other stuff!! Oh i even managed to get myself the same email id as my 1st one, which has been with me ever since...

Time has passed since then....and thinking back about those days was pretty funny...i just thought i should share it with you...

long live the www!!!

A tribute to 'the backseat babes'!

2007-06-08T22:17:00.000+05:30

I was never really lucky with friends, i knew a lot of people but no one was close enough to call a friend! My brothers friends were my freinds too... and as long as those guys were around i didnt see any reason why i had to go find new ones!

All that changed in my 11th standard.

I always did prefer male company to female. I observed that guys did less bitching(yeah 'less'-no matter what u say, guys bitch!), they were less complex, they didnt remember the lil' stuff (which i always found hard to remember!), they were loyal, they were more practical and blah blah...point being:they were solid company!

But the class i got into was 11-F ie, the commerce section. Better described as the class where all the filtered creeps got into. I cribbed all the way to school and once i got there i was dreadful...

The first person i met that day was a vibrant and confidant girl, who looked no more than twelve to me. She talked animatedly and seemed intrested in anything i had to say. There were only 6 girls in class, the rest 4 jelled real quick and made themselves comfy in the first 2 benches...I sat in the last bench and the girl i was telling you about- Nandita, joined me soon. All i knew about her was that she was exceptionally good with academics. I'd known her older sister, Divya but not her. I found Divya very mature and subtle, but Nandita who i christened nandi was nothing like her big sister, she was yapping away to glory and she had this 'i am a kid' air around her - i liked her instantly!

Me and nandi spent the next couple of days discovering the various characters in our class togeather, they were not really worth it, but it was fun anyhow!

After almost a week a new character emerges. I saw a girl with her dad near our class, i went over to her, extended my hand and introduced myself. She was Lakshmi Geeth, she said from calicut! A fellow malabari..i was pleased. We soon found out, to nandi's dismay that me and lakshmi had chosen the same optional subject Informatics Practices. Nandi had opted for psychology, and she was the only girl who did..

Me and laksh jelled real quick too...i'd not met anyone from the malabar in ages and it was refreshing to meet a genuinely nice person..She seemed ready to help and played along with everything...Laksh is the sorta person who'll make you feel comfortable the minute you see her..

Laksh and Nandi got along well. They were like lil' kids when they talked. Both of them would always be excited about something, and it was fun to watch. It was very unusual for me coz at home im the one who keeps the convo goin, i hardly shut up. But with these two i could finally stay quiet and still have fun!

And so the three of us stuck togeather.Through 11th and then through 12th. Laksh taught us to be daring (she was the only one who dared to sleep in the economics classes), nandi taught us to study! I know she taught me that!Coz after 10th i was a wrek and so badly wanted to prove myself in 11th and she helped me accomplish that..And as for me, i guess i imparted some of my love for books to the girls!(They were never the 'reading' kind, but these days i hear them discuss books!!woohoo!)...

There are times when i bet we felt like hitting the crap out of each other-but those phases were seldom. And they never really lasted too long.

I dont think BVB wouldve ever witnessed a group like ours before. We had this 'spot' under a tree where we got a lovely view of our block,(that remained our spot until a crow shat on laksh;She refused to go back there after that unfortunate incident).One of our favorite passtimes was pointing at guys and laughing our hearts out at them...especially guys who had too much attitude! We also sang out loud almost everyday, our favorite was the number from Taxi9211, meter down!We sang in class, in the corridor and anywhere we went! I should mention the art works we gave birth to...we wrote everywhere we could, especially me! the back bench had poems and quotes and a million of our signatures!

We spent every free period talking...god! we talked so much!!! We'd also choreographed this lil' song number, aimed at irritating one of our friends who sat on the back bench in the next row. We'd perform the lil' number each time the maam turned around or was talking to someone else..The expression on the victims face would be so funny that we'd break into fits of laughter!!

And yeah, the english periods...we had this maam who had so many expressions, it was almost like watching a kathakali performance! She would come up with the most weirdest of things, our favorite was the 'the milk of kindness' ;she would say this while using her hands to perform a step that looked like somethin was coming out of her bosom! This never ever failed to make us laugh! we would take chances to throw a pen under the desk and laugh while picking it up, there were times when the 3 of us went searching for the same pen!!

Another one of my favorites was when we had a 'girls day out'...we went to ambrosia and found one young waiter giving us 'too much attention'!! We had a ball that day calling that bloke 'mama' and 'uncle'....you shouldve seen his face!! We then went to motimahal, a jewellery shop, with a lotta attitude...we walked in and began looking at the most expensive things...we tried out necklaces and put on rings and earrings...after fooling around for a while we went to the cheapest section and loudly debabted about how nothing was worth the money...We then smiled and thanked every frustrated sales person there and headed for the door! We didnt end the evening there, we went to a fashion store, Glitz and did the same act there...It was soooooooooo much fun!(we had a way wid pissing people off!)

The pajama parties at Nandis place was fun too..she had the tv in her room...we'd sit with magazines and watch sappy movies all night and cry! oh yeah, this once we took out all of nandis and her moms make up and took turns to make each other look ghastly and took individual pictures of ourselves..When we walked out of her room her gradmother almost fell with shock!! talking about her grandmom, i should mention-her g'mom makes the worlds best fish fry!*slurp*...

(From girls to young ladies. Me(black), nandi(green) & laksh(red) on d day of r farewell party!)

The amazing thing about our relationship is that the three of us are SUCH different people...we have different priorities, very different views on almost everythn (including choice of guys!)and yet we never fail to make each other laugh and have an amazing time, togeather!

Im not gonna end this post with goodbye's to you two. Its true that we'll meet new people, we'll make new friends and we'll change too..but whatever happens we'd always be the wacky backseat babes of 12-f!!

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i love you guys!! hope everything in life works out well for you. This post is (obviously) dedicated to both of you...Take care and God bless!

a lil' limerick to kill time....

2007-06-08T21:59:00.000+05:30

This is one of many poems i scribbled on my notebook...

"Im eighteen,
almost through my teens,
I dont feel old
Although I've lived many a years gold..

I feel lucky,
to have lived this long,
perhaps i should write a song...

But my books call out to me,
"Come back" they say,
Ah! i wish i could say nay

So here i go
ending my rhymy ramblings
back to my geeky surroundings!"

A wrap up of my autobiography....

2007-06-07T12:43:00.000+05:30

If anyone said something dreadfully nice to me, id be quick to say "you know, id write a paragraph about you in my autobiography"..and for people who mean a whole lot to me like my mom, Ive already promised her a chapter...yup! an entire chapter, just for her!!

I was always sure that I'd publish my very own book someday...not just any other book, but a book about my life...I know 18's pretty young a age to even think about a book, let alone an autobiography but there are some things that you just know-and for me, this is one such thing.

Id write about how i was born in a hill station and eleven years later took to the city like id been living there all my life...id write about how much freedom i had as a kid and how little friends...id write about trekking up the 'scooby doo mountain' and going on a picnic to 'the little rock' with my brother and his friends..oh and then id write about all the mean things the cruel girls in my class did to me and how i got back at them!

Then comes my favorite part, about how i moved to the city. Or like my mother would put it-how i blossomed! I'll write about all the amazing people i met, and all the not-so-amazing people i met...I'll write about all the friends 'I' had!

The book would also feature the stories from my college days; although I've not gotten to college yet, I'm sure they will be incredibly funny! Id go on and write about my experiences of doing my post grad in Harvard, or Stanford or Princeton (I'm not exactly sure which!) and then of course how i became an Indian Diplomat, after cracking the Civil Service examination with top honours!...the book would then go on to tell you all about my escapades whilst i was working in different parts of the globe...

I would spice the book up with personal details of world renowned figures and some from my life too....oh and not to forget it will include inside stories of how all the terrorist organisations in the world tried to kill me-but in vain!

so u see, my autobiography's got all the makings of an international bestseller! and not to fret wen my good pal Steven, Spielberg that is, comes to me asking if he could make a movie off the book, i would greedily say yes, only if i was allowed to play my role...with Brad Pitt opposite me of course!

So whats the moral of this story?!

Be nice to me, if u wanna see Ur name on print!

and exceptionally nice, if you wanna see tom cruise/Jeniffer Aniston play ur character in Stevens movie.....

Eternal Sunshine *in* the Spotless Mind